Unexpected Results of Time Travel
by DMHPluv
Summary: Due to a potions accident Harry ends up in the MWPP Era, with no way to return. He ends up in the middle of a love triangle, except he doesn't know it, he's completly oblivious. LMHPSB WARNING! SLASH! don't like don't read.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing! I don't pretend to own anything so please don't sue!

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Harry hit the ground with a loud thump. "Fucking Malfoy" Harry mumbled as he picked himself off the floor. He had been partnered with Malfoy in potions and the git had just had to purposely throw in all the ingredients at once, it didn't really matter to him since Snape was going to blame Harry and give Malfoy an O. He looked only to find himself in an abandoned corridor. "Wait a second wasn't I just in the potion's classroom? How did I end up here? Oh well it's not like I wanted to be in potions in anyways I'll just head up to the tower and wait for Hermione to come and yell at me" So with that decided Harry started climbing the stairs toward Gryffindor tower. When he reached the portrait of the fat lady he mumbled quietly "Voldemort" it was part of Dumbledore's plan to get people to say The Dark Lord's name.

The Fat Lady gave a squeak and said in a rather loud voice "don't say his name! And who would ever use He-Who-Must-Be-Named as a password!"

"What but that was the password last week!" Harry argued.

"I won't waste my time with hooligans like you! Either you give me the password or you don't enter!"

"Whatever" Harry mumbled. "I'll just go see Dumbledore." Harry started to head down to the headmaster's office wondering what was happening.

When Harry reached the headmaster's office he kicked the gargoyle's clawed feet and was granted entrance to the office. Harry had discovered the secret way to enter the headmaster's office when in a fit of rage he just kicked the gargoyle and surprisingly enough it opened for him. Harry climbed the steps that lead to the headmaster's office and knocked on the door. A soft "come in" indicating that Albus wasn't expecting anyone. Harry entered the office where his eyes rested on a slightly different looking Dumbledore. 'He looks different... I don't know he looks kind of... younger' Harry thought.

"Hello, I don't believe I've met you before" Dumbledore said.

"Professor Dumbledore, it's me Harry, you know Harry Potter, are you okay, should I go get Madame Pomfrey?" Harry asked part of him believing this whole thing was a joke and part of him was really worried about the old man. "Oh man" Harry moaned "have I landed in an alternate universe again, maybe this time I wasn't born"

"... well that would explain you looking like a mix between Lily and James, may I inquire the date"

"Professor you should know its September 24th, seriously though should I get Madame Pomfrey?"

"Harry what's the year?" Professor Dumbledore asked, while his eyes were twinkling full volume.

"1996, professor, maybe we should forget Madame Pomfrey and get you to Saint Mungo's"

"Harry, you were right you weren't born yet, it's only 1976" Dumbledore replied smiling jovially, and with that said Harry promptly fell out of his chair in a dead faint. Professor Dumbledore sighed, as he looked at Harry and proceeded to call the nurse.

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I know it's short, but the next chappy will be longer... and better... I swear. A girl's scout's promise... of course it would mean more if actually was a girl scout. Anyways please **REVEIW!**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the charactors, cuz if I did Harry would be in a broom closet with young Sirius and Draco, Ron would be to busy with Vicktor Krum to care about Hermione, and the twins would always be in their bedroom and they wouldn't be making new things for their shop.

Sirius' POV  
"May I have all your attention, please" Dumbledore said while standing up, "Today, something extraordinary happened, while I was in my office a young man that I have never seen before came up into the office, I naturally asked who he was, he said his name was Harry Potter" I looked at James shocked it was a well known fact that there was only one Potter family in the wizarding world, "he then asked if I needed to go see Madame Pomfrey, to make a long story short he is a time traveler from the year 1996, but he couldn't be here right now on the account of he fainted when I told him he was in the past. He's James Potter's son and I expect you all to make him feel welcomed, he will be sorted when he wakes up."

I can just picture how stupid I look now, my mouth hanging open, with my eyes bulging, and gapping at my best friend as if he just told me Lily agreed to go out with him. Finally I snapped out of it to see the rest of the hall looking similar to how I probably looked a few minutes ago.

"ALBUS HARRY'S GONE!" Madame Pomfrey yelled while running into the Great Hall. Everyone's head turned to the nurse who looked about ready to cry. The Great Hall was shocked no one had ever been able to sneak out of the infirmary with Madame Pomfrey, I mean I should know! I try it every time I get stuck in the infirmary, I never made it! He hasn't even been here a full day and he's already a legend! I thought.

"Umm... Madame Pomfrey, I'm right here" said a voice coming from the Hufflepuff table, everyone looked towards the voice, and I located the voice to find the most beautiful boy I had ever seen, he was thin with high cheekbones, wavy shoulder length hair, and beautiful green eyes, all I could do was stare.

"Ah, Harry my boy, why don't you come up here and get sorted and while Fawkes gets the sorting hat why don't you tell me how you got down here without anyone knowing?" Dumbledore asked, successfully knocking me out of my stupor.

"Well as you once said to me Professor, I don't need an invisibility cloak to make myself invisible" He said in a mystical voice.

Lucius' POV  
"ALBUS HARRY'S GONE!" I could feel my eyebrow rise with surprise, this is the first time anyone had gotten by Pomfrey, I thought.

"Umm... Madame Pomfrey, I'm right here" said quiet voice. I quickly located where the voice had came from, there at the Hufflepuff table was a gorgeous boy I had never seen before, I could feel my pants starting to become to tight 'Merlin this boy has me getting aroused just by looking at him' I thought, the rest of the hall was staring at him, the Hufflepuff's surprised he was at their table, Ravenclaws were studying him the Gryffindorks were looking surprised as well probably thought if any table was worth sitting at it was theirs and the Slytherin's were looking for any weaknesses.

"Ah, Harry my boy," the old coot said "why don't you come up here and get sorted and while Fawkes gets the sorting hat why don't you tell me how you got down here without anyone knowing?"

"Well as you once said to me Professor, I don't need an invisibility cloak to make myself invisible" he said in the same quiet voice. 'How very Slytherin of you potter, a vague quote that the headmaster himself said' 

Normal POV  
Suddenly there's a burst of flames and Dumbledore's phoenix appeared, he seemed to perk up when he saw Harry, and as suddenly as he came he disappeared before reappearing on Harry's shoulder.

"Hello Fawkes"

"Harry, is it safe to assume that you and Fawkes have meet before?" Dumbledore asked

"Fawkes and I have met on several occasions, now shall we get the sorting started? I'm rather hungry I haven't eaten all day"

"Very well Harry" Dumbledore said as he placed the hat on Harry's head.

Hmm... interesting, already been sorted before,... hmm... well Harry the way I see it, you have two choices although, I feel you would do much better in Slytherin you could and will be a great Gryffindor, now where shall I put you?

You know even after all the times you've been on my head you keep asking me where I want to be sorted, and you already know the answer is going to be Gryffindor so why bother asking at all?

Fine, no need to be rude, "SLYTHERIN!" The hat yelled out at last.

THAT'S NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE SORTED!

Well that's what you get for being rude

And with that Harry threw the hat down on the stool and stormed over to the Slytherin table and plopped down not caring, that he was mostly likely going to get hexed for being a Potter in Slytherin.

"What are you doing here?" a voice that was filled with disdain a voice that Harry knew to well.

(I wouldn't leave you like that, I hate cliffhangers)

"Snape" Harry said without looking up.

"Ah, I see that you know of me" Snape replied in a smug voice.

"Duh, you were only my potions master for 5 years" Harry replied. He turned to the other side of him to see himself looking into the eyes of Lucius Malfoy. "Figures I can sit anywhere at the table, but I sit in between two of the three people who hate me he most in the world" Harry exclaimed throwing his hands up, then began hitting his head on the table, while the whole school was staring at him not sure what to do. After Harry finally stopped hitting his head on the table he looked up to see the whole Great Hall looking at him as if he were insane. "What are you looking at! Go back to eating!" he snapped.

"Well that was interesting" Harry heard Snape say quietly from the spot next to him, almost afraid that Harry would blow up at him.

"Don't worry only the headmaster can get me mad enough to blow something up, well here at least the rest of the time it's to easy to blow stuff up, it kind of sucks." Harry said.

"Oh so you don't like the old coot?" Snape asked.

"He's weird sometimes he's like a grandfather to me, while at other times he just makes me so mad I just want to... argh!" As Harry said this he made a violent ringing gesture with his hands, telling Snape exactly what he felt like.

"So, why were you so surprised about getting sorted into Slytherin?" Lucius asked, cutting off the ranting about Dumbledore.

"Oh that, I was sorted into Gryffindor, in the future, I mean the sorting hat tried to change my mind the every time I tried it, but this time it said I was being rude, it had asked me where I had wanted to be sorted and I said that was obvious, and some other things, and the damn hat yelled Slytherin" Harry said, having no idea that the Great Hall was looking at him again.

"Potter, you should learn not to be so rude" The sorting hat called out as Fawkes was flying out with it in his mouth.

"You weren't saying that in the Chamber of Secrets, when you gave me Gryffindor's sword, you damn hat!" Harry called. Standing up and waving his hand at the hat in a mad gesture before calmly sitting back down at the table and going back to eating his meal.

"Umm... ok, I don't think I want to know, so do you like potions?" Snape asked


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I wished I owned Harry Potter, but sadly I don't and if I did there would be major changes. ;-)

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After the feast was finished James and Sirius came bounding over to Harry, with Remus following at a more sedate pace.

"Hi, Harry I'm your father at the age of 17, but call me Prongs, and this is your godfather at the age of 17 (call me Padfoot) and this is Remus the responsible one in the Marauders or Moony if you will, but you have to tell me DID I EVER GROW UP?" James said growing hysterical at the last part. Harry thought, he heard his father mutter a quiet 'please don't let me grow up', but passed it off as his imagination.

"Um no, neither does Padfoot,... hey Padfoot I haven't seen you in a while" Harry said casually, 'it's a good thing we rescued Sirius from the veil, or I would be making a fool of myself right now' Harry thought, "anyways I'm you son at 16 but I tested into 7th year classes all except at potions, but that's because I suck at potions" 'it's a good thing I had to try to defeat Ol' Voldie or I would be in the same school as my parents and never see them' "it's not like potions will matter when I become an Auror, I mean why would I have to take N.E.W.T. potions anyways" Harry muttered.

"Because if you get hit with a spell on the battlefield or drink poison, that needs a potion to counter it, you might be able to make that potion yourself" Remus answered.

"That might be the case, but by the time I'm done with the potion, I'll probably already be dead." Harry answered back.

"Keyword you might be dead, there's..."

"Forget it Moony people in my year tell me I'm the most stubborn person they've ever met, so you might as well give up" Harry interrupted. "How about we discuss a better topic on the way to the tower, I already know where it is, so it's not like I'm learning something new, but I have to go tell Severus and Lucius though" With that Harry took off to tell his friends that he would meet them in the dungeons.

"SEVERUS AND LUCIUS!" James and Sirius yelled. It was a well known fact that the four of them were enemies; James and Severus were always at each other's throats as are Sirius and Lucius.

"Harry, how do you know where the Dungeons are?" Severus asked.

"Oh that's easy, me and my friends, polyjuiced into Lucius' son's friends and he led us down to the Common Room" Harry answered easily. "Anyways the Marauders are waiting for me" and with that Harry bounded off to meet his other friends.

"THE MARAUDERS!"

After Harry had left the Marauders at the portrait, Sirius made a beeline for the chairs that were in front of the tapestry and sat down, while staring unblinkingly into the fire, James getting bored of Sirius staring at the tapestry had to do something about it, "Sirius, are you okay? I don't think you've ever been this quiet. Does this have something to do with Harry?" James asked worriedly. "Sirius... Sirius... SIRIUS!" 

"WHAT! Where's the fire?" Sirius exclaimed, coming out of his trance like state.

"Sirius, I'm going to ask again, are you okay?" James said dragging each word out very slowly.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just worried about Harry, I'm mean, a Potter in Slytherin, they're going to tear him apart" Sirius exclaimed.

Meanwhile in the Slytherin Common Room

"WE'VE GOT POTTER, WE'VE GOT POTTER" (tribute to the Gred and Forge)

Back in the Gryffindor Common Room

"Oh no, what are we going to do?" A now hysterical James exclaimed.

"If there's any signs that any abuse happened we'll go to Dumbledore, but for now we can only hope" Sirius replied mournfully.

Slytherin's 7th Year Dorm

"Wow, I didn't this place would be this cozy" Harry said looking around his new dorm.

"And, why would you think that?" Frank Flint asked. Frank was a burley dorm mate of Harry who had a boyish face, and semi-crooked teeth, his voice was a little higher pitched then most boys his age and had an almost squeaky quality to it although compared to Lucius' and Severus' smooth low tones it seemed, annoyingly girlish.

"Well, look at your Common Room, it doesn't exactly scream warm and friendly, I thought it seemed more cold and hostile." Harry answered back, grinning.

Severus rolled his eyes at his dorm mates actions and turned to see what Lucius was doing, and was surprised to find him staring at Harry, drinking in his every movement 'it seems like someone has a crush' Severus smirked, thinking of the what he could get with this little piece of information.

The next mornings, the Marauders were sitting and eating breakfast peacefully, well as peacefully as it could get with the Marauders around, when the doors to the Great Hall banged open to reveal Harry in the center of a bunch Slytherins, with Lucius' arm around his shoulder laughing hysterically as were the rest of the Slytherins. Sirius could feel himself burning with jealousy, Harry looked over to them, and smiled before turning back to the Slytherins and saying something, and he turned back and walked over to the Gryffindor table and sat down next to Sirius.

"Good morning all" Harry exclaimed

"Hi I'm Peter Pettigrew, you can call me Wormtail"

"I know what you did last summer... I mean night, for all I care you can go run into the Forbidden Forest get chased by the Acromantulas and then if you make it out alive go drown yourself in a well." (A/N: just don't come out of our TV ha-ha get it the ring... well... TV's) Harry said, with hatred lacing his every word. Peter shrunk back in fear, the Marauders exchanged worried glances, Harry was practically emitting power, 'wow Harry sure does look sexy like that' Sirius thought, having no idea that someone across the Hall was thinking the very same thoughts. James didn't really think anything good was going to happen out of this subject, so he decided to change it.

"So... Harry do you like Quidditch?" James asked

"Who doesn't like Quidditch? I love Quidditch, I've been on the house team since first year."

"What! No way! How!" Sirius exclaimed. Harry proceeded to tell them about Neville, his remembrall, and flying lessons.

"It was so funny, the day I got my broom Malfoy, tried telling on me when, Professor Flitwick said yes I know, he has permission and after he left I turned back to Malfoy and thanked him saying if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be on the team, should've seen his face, two word absolutely hilarious" Harry said as the Gryffindor Table burst out laughing.

Then McGonagall showed up smiling thinly, and says "Interesting story Mr. Potter, I look forward to having you as a future seeker on the house team."

"Professor call me, Harry, you did in the future after all"

"Very well Harry, here is your schedule, Horace asked me to give this to since I was coming over here anyways" she said smiling a little less thinly as she handed him and the rest of the group their schedule before moving on to the rest of the table.

"Crud!" Harry exclaimed "I have potions first"

"Ha-ha sucks for you!" Sirius exclaimed. While Harry being the mature lad that he is, stuck his tongue out at him. 'Man I would love, to take that tongue in mouth, NO bad Sirius, DO NOT go there, he's your best friends son don't go there!'

"Well, I better get going, I don't want to be late and end up getting another detention, bye guys" and with that said Harry went rushing off to potions.

Sirius' POV  
'Man, he has a nice arse, NO stop thinking! You CANNOT think about Harry that way, wait why is Malfoy looking at him like that, OH Merlin, he likes Harry! NO DON'T LOOK AT HIM THAT WAY, HE'S MINE! NO LOOKIE! NO, Sirius, don't think about Harry that way, ok, I need a distraction, let's see... oh what do I have today? Divination, Tranfiguration, hey I have Tranfiguration with Harry, no I have to stop thinking about him,' "ok deep even breathes, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, okay why is everyone looking at me?"

"Sirius are you okay? What was that all about?" Peter asked. 'Whoops, I guess I said the last part out loud'

"Yes, I'm fine just thinking"

"Bloody Hell, Padfoot is thinking, IT'S A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE! AHH WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE" James shouted.

"Shut up, Jamie!" I hissed.

"Okay, okay, jeez no need to get you knickers in a twist, although I don't think Harry would mind" 'wipe that smug look off your face... wait what was that last part?'

"What!"

"Oh please Black, it's so obvious, that you like Harry, I'm not sure 'bout him, but if you give him googly eyes every time you see him, he's going to figure it out pretty easily" 'Real witty Evans'

"Wait! I give him googly eyes! Oh no! This is worse than I thought!"

"Ah-uh, I knew it! You do have a crush on my son!"

"OK, I admit I do, but how can you not, I mean he's so pretty!

"Ok, I did not need to think of my son like that! EVER!"

"... So... if he says yes, can I go out with him?

"Sure, Padfoot you have my permission"

"WOO-HOO! GO PADFOOT, GO PADFOOT, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY WE'RE GOING TO PARTY LIKE IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY"

Normal POV  
"As if he would go out with you Black" Sirius turned to see Lucius Malfoy standing behind him, flanked with Snape, Crabbe, and Goyle.

"Why, it's not like he would rather go out with you instead"

"What's that suppose to mean?" Lucius demanded, narrowing his eyes.

"Oh please, I've seen the way you look at him, you like him" After Sirius said this, there was a loud wail, as Narcissa ran out of the room crying.

"Right says the guy that doesn't know the difference between a Phoenix and a Clabbert" Lucius retorted.

"Then, why do you care if I'm going to ask Harry out or not? And what's a Clabbert?" Sirius asked sincerely confused.

Lucius started to laugh "See what I mean, it's obvious Harry deserves better than some disowned, muggle-loving, pureblood" Lucius spat.

"You know, Lucius, Harry's a half-blood, and Lily is his mum" Remus said.

"WHAT!" two voices rang out, one filled with glee and the other was shock and disbelief.

"THAT"S NOT POSSIBLE! I HATE POTTER! THERE'S NO WAY I WOULD HAVE A KID WITH HIM! WAIT HOW DO YOU KNOW IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Lily yelled.

"I TOLD YOU SIRIUS! WOO-HOO, I'M GOING TO MARRYING LILY! OH YEAH!"

"It's simple really, how many people do you know with green almond shape eyes? More pacifically Lily's eyes?" Remus asked rhetorically. That statement was silence, well except the occasional "OH YEAH" from James and the "SHUT IT, POTTER" from Lily, after James finished. 'Today is going to be a long day' Remus thought, with a small sigh.

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Hey it's DMHPluv! When you reveiw write who you think Harry should be with because i'm not sure who i want him to end up with. Here are the choices...  
A) Sirius  
B) Lucius  
C) Someone from the future coming to get him leaving both Lucius and Sirius Heartbroken.

**Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry potter or any of it's characters they belong to J.K.R. bows down and worships J.K.R.

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"Okay class, next year you take your N.E.W.T.'s, this year is going to be hard, you'll be" was as far as Professor Slughorn got before Harry tuned him out. Harry knew he should probably be listening to Slughorn, but he couldn't bring himself to pay attention, he didn't think anyone could pay attention in his situation, he was in the past, where he was sorted into Slytherin, and he got to met his parents for the first time, he seriously doubted anyone could pay attention at a time like this. As Harry continued to think, he was suddenly pulled out of his thoughts, as the bell rang. Harry's confusion showed clearly on his face, had he really been thinking that long, he thought with a blink. 'Oh well it's not like I'm complaining' he thought with a shrug, before heading to Tranfiguration. 

When Harry got to Transfiguration, he found that he had a problem, Lucius was waving him over to sit with the Slytherins, while Sirius was doing the same, and after a quick round of enny-meeny-miny-mo, it was decided that he would sit with Lucius. He smiled apologetically at the Marauder's and took a seat next to Lucius.

"Hi, how was your last class?" Harry asked after he sat down.

"Good... how come you didn't tell us you were a half-blood?" Lucius asked, surprisingly there was no malice in his voice, he had used to think half-bloods were below him, but being friends with Severus, taught him differently.

"I don't know, I never thought that it mattered... and how did you find out?"

"Lupin said that you were, and that your Evan's kid too"

"Remus was always the smart one, yeah Lily's my mum, but if you want to get technical about it I'm a first generation pureblood, both my parents were magical." Harry said.

"I never really thought of it that way. I didn't really care to begin with, I mean Severus is a half-blood and I'm still friends with him, I was just wondering if it was true or not" Lucius explained.

"Take your seats, this year you will be taking your N.E.W.T.'s" McGonagall said, Harry again tuned her out he didn't see the need to listen as her speech was the same every year, she would tell them how hard they would have to work hard to even pass her test and that she didn't allow slackers, then she would move on to what they would be learning that year, and than she would finish by saying how important Tranfiguration was, Harry knew the whole speech by heart, hell he could probably say it backward, if he wanted to. So he merely started to doodle, he ended up drawing a snitch with two hands coming from different directions trying to catch it. Suddenly words started to appear under the snitch;

'Bored, are you?' Lucius wrote.

'So this is why Slytherins never get caught writing notes, figures it's a simple messenger spell.' Harry wrote back.

'Wow, you didn't figure it out it seems you have more Gryffindor in you then I thought.' Lucius teased.

'I blame Ron, some of his Gryffindorish qualities must have rubbed off on me.'

'Now, now, you shouldn't blame others for your actions.'

'Why am I talking to you, again?'

'Because I'm a Malfoy, no one could deny a Malfoy anything.' Harry could almost feel the smugness radiating off of him, and couldn't help but smile a bit. If you had told him he would be friends with Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape a week ago, he would've taken you to St. Mungo's to have your head checked, but here he was writing to Malfoy through a messenger spell.

'Anyways, to answer your first question, yes I'm bored, I mean she says the same speech every just changing tiny little things, I mean couldn't she just change it a bit?'

'Harry you do realize we're talking about McGonagall, right?'

'I know but I'm so bored!'

'That much is obvious, but you're not the only one that's bored.'

Harry looked around the classroom to see people in various states of boredom, Sirius was flicking paper at the back of Remus' head with his head in his hands, James was doodling, Lily was trying and failing to pay attention, and even the Slytherins abandoned their masks and showed how truly bored they were. As Harry finished looking around the room the bell rang, and Sirius hopped up and yelled, "I'M FREE" before bolting out of the door with James in tow.

"Well that was interesting" Harry remarked walking out of the door with Lucius next to him.

"It was" Frank agreed, and with that the Slytherins headed to the Great Hall for lunch.

Meanwhile already at the Gryffindor table, were the Marauder's, "I can't believe Harry would rather sit with the snakes rather than us" James seethed.

"I knew he was bad news from the first time I looked at him" Peter said.

"If you guys didn't notice, Harry is allowed to have other friends, even if they are Slytherins, and he was having a difficult time deciding, he was playing enny-meeny-miny-mo, it's a muggle thing that helps you chose" Remus said.

Sirius on the other hand was looking straight at the Slytherin table, burning with jealousy ever time he saw Lucius touch Harry, laugh at something Harry said, making Harry laugh, he had psychically restrain himself from going over there and lifting Harry out of his seat, bringing him back to the Gryffindor table where Harry would sit in his lap, and kissing him soundly. Suddenly laughter erupted from the Slytherin table, Sirius' eyes immediately went to Harry, who was blushing a very bright red, 'he looks so cute, when he blushes' Sirius thought. Then he saw Lucius Malfoy put his arm around Harry, and looked straight at Sirius and smirked. 'There's no way I'm letting him have Harry, Harry's mine!' and with that Sirius started thinking, unfortunately he didn't get very far, because James had whacked him over the head for staring at his son.

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Results for voting: 

Sirius: 12

Lucius: 5

Threesome: 7

Draco: 2

Oliver: 1

Random person from the future: 2

Voting is still open! So people vote! And review... well to vote you have to review, so I get the best of both worlds! Yay!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Male Malfoy's are extremely hot but sadly I don't own them or any other characters in this story!

Lucius' POV  
I don't think I'll ever get over how beautiful Harry is, everything about him is beautiful, his hair, his smile. I love how he just barely reaches my shoulders; it's so cute when he pouts about how short he is. I have it bad, I don't think I've ever cared about someone as much as him, except Severus of course. I will not let Black have him he's mine, and of course I have the advantage by sharing a dorm with him, I know him better than Black does, he's so oblivious to love and romance, if he knew anything about them, he would notice how some of the other boys look at him, but I'm not worried about them. Black is my main concern.

"Lucius, do you think you could help me with my potions homework" his sweet voice calls. Of course I'm going to take advantage of the situation, and sit as close as I can get, I don't know how anyone can not like him.

"Sure Harry, I'll be right there" I answer. With that said I can here sobbing in the back round, I can't help what think what a stupid girl Narcissa is, I don't know what gave her the idea that we were going to be wed, but you think she would get over, all she wants is the Malfoy fortune. My sweet Harry could never use someone like that.

"So Harry, what do you need help with?" I ask sitting down next to him, leaning over so I can get a good look at the book, or maybe so I could get closer to him, the sobbing in the back round getting louder. I wrap my arm around him, to show everyone he is mine, the only one who is still challenging me is Black, he doesn't seem to get it. As Harry asks me questions about properties about some potion or another, I answer almost automatically. Soon he's finish with his homework, and I recommend a walk, he agrees immediately, he loves the outdoors. He stands up and walks out the door, only looking behind once to make sure I'm following him, because of the few steps he's before me, I have a perfect view of his arse. I keep looking until I catch up to him, I have a sudden need to touch him, so I do, I slip my arm around his waist, and he looks up and smiles at me.

"Does Dumbledork know how to send you back?" I ask, although my heart jerks at the thought.

"No, he's not even sure if he can send me back" That would be great, I think.

Normal POV  
"Harry... Harry... HARRY" Sirius yelled, growling when he sees Lucius with his arm still around Harry. Lucius seeing his anger smirked.

"Hi, Siri"

"Hey Har, I was wondering if I could talk to you alone for a minute?"

"What ever you say to him Black, you can say to me" Lucius responded coldly.

"Lucius, be nice, Siri is one of my friends" Harry said walking away from Lucius. Sirius led him towards the Forbidden Forest, before sitting down right before they reached the entrance.

"Harry, you know Remus is a werewolf ...right?"

"Yeah, I've known since my third year of Hogwarts"

"Phew!" Sirius exclaimed, wiping the back of his hand on his forehead, "I was afraid that I would have to tell you, and calm you down. Your father and Remus voted that I had to tell you he's a werewolf, I thought if you didn't know, you would probably freak out or something, you just made my job so much easier."

"By the way, can I join you tomorrow night?" Harry asked.

"W- w – what?" Sirius stuttered out, thinking of the double- meaning that included a bed, lubricant, and silencing charms.

"You know, tomorrow night's the full moon, I want to be with you guys to help control Moony, I always wanted to join you guys" Harry continued, not catching what his last statement implied.

"You're an animagus?" Sirius asked, mentally berating himself, for thinking Harry would say that.

"Yeah, I'm a Bengal Tiger cub, Hermione said that I looked so cute and proceeded to attempt to hug me to death for the next hour." Harry said, with a small smile at the memory.

"Is Hermione your girlfriend?" Sirius asked, slightly dreading the answer. Sirius found that the more time he spent with Harry, the more he liked him.

"Hermione, eww! That's so gross! Not only is she like a sister to me, but I'm gay! That's so gross!" Harry exclaimed, with a disgusted face. Sirius felt himself sigh with relief and happiness 'he's gay! I have a chance' was all he could think. "You're not mad, are you?" Harry asked in a small voice.

"No, why would I be? I'm bi, so I would be a hypocrite, if I said liking the same sex was wrong"

"Really? I never knew you were bi." Harry asked, surprise clearly showing through in his voice.

"Yep! I'm just so sexy, no one can resist me! Because I'm cool like that!" Sirius said in a fake arrogant voice. (Tribute to Shannon)

"Ha ha ha, you keep telling yourself that" Harry chuckled.

"What!" Sirius exclaimed, in a false surprised voice. "You don't think I'm sexy! I practically radiate sexiness!"

"No you are, but you're a little to sure of yourself there, buddy"

"I knew it! I knew you found me sexy! I could see I could see the lust in your eyes, the first you saw me" Sirius said dramatically.

"Right, whatever you say there, Monsieur Sexy" Harry said, just as dramatically. All of a sudden there was rustling in the bushes and out came James, he was standing there, looking a tad green.

"Padfoot... you're corrupting my son, and please never have this conversation when I'm in earshot again, better yet, just never have this conversation again." James said calmly, before rushing into Hogwarts, probably to a bathroom. At this sight Sirius cracked up laughing, he soon fell over, holding his stomach, all while Harry looked like a cherry, a very very cute cherry.

"Ha ha ha, that was so funny! Anyways it's time for lunch, wanna head to the Great Hall?" Sirius asked. Harry still blushing Bright red, only nodded. When they arrived at the Great Hall they set towards the Gryffindor Table and sat down. During lunch Peter decided he was going to try to be funny...

"Hey you want to here a joke?" Peter asked, with great enthusiasm.

"No" The Marauders and Harry said at once.

"This one time I walked into a bar..., and it hurt" Peter finished, laughing like a lunatic. The Great Hall fell silent, and everyone was staring at him. Peter quickly realized that he was the only one laughing and stopped. Whispers broke out in the Hall.

"Man and I thought he was lame before" Lucius Malfoy exclaimed loudly. And the next thing everyone knew, Peter ran out of the Great Hall, with his arms full of food, crying. "Yeah, go drown your sorrows in another cookie, Pettigrew!" Lucius yelled.

"Yeah, cry me a river" Crabbe or was it Goyle's voice rang out. Everyone sat there in a stunned silence, until they burst out laughing, with a couple of people sitting there confused.

"Well, that was weird" Remus said.

Results:

Sirius: 28

Lucius: 9

Threesomes-

S/H/L: 27

S/H/R: 1

Future-

Draco: 5

Oliver: 1


	6. Chappy 6

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the plot! I don't even own the whole plot! coughtimetravelcough.

* * *

After everyone finished, Sirius picked himself off the floor which he fell on during the laugh-a-thon (it was the only time he thought Lucius was funny), and sat down grinning ear to ear.

"Siri, I'm scared, hold me" Harry said in a fake freaked out voice. Sirius gladly grabbed Harry so he was practically sitting in his lap, and wrapped his arms around him.

"Ha ha ha, no, Padfoot get him off your lap, before I castrate you" James said in a deadly voice. Sirius immediately said no, and wrapped his arms tighter around Harry and totally pulled him in on his lap. Harry was blushing deeply, while James seethed.

During this time James wasn't the only one mad, actually mad would be an understatement, Lucius was furious, he saw the whole thing, and he was pissed, Black was all over his territory! Then he saw Potter, he knew how protective he was, he was the one that had stopped Lucius from asking Harry out, he seemed to pop up wherever Harry was. 'He'll put a stop to this!' Lucius thought. Then he saw Sirius pull Harry into his lap and saw red. 'Don't touch him!' Lucius' mind screamed. "PUT HIM DOWN!" Lucius' subconscious raged, however he accidentally yelled it out loud. The whole  
Great Hall turned looked at Lucius, and Harry tilted his head in cute confused way. Everyone stared and Lucius knew he had to make up something so he quickly yelled "WHAT ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT!" and turned back to his lunch. The Great Hall being used to this by now, turned back and started eating again.

"What was that all about?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing, I'll tell you later" Lucius responded, looking at each person at the table to make sure no one was listening.

"Fine" Severus answered.

"I wonder what's wrong with Lucius?" Harry pondered out loud. "What's poking me?"

James looks over and whacks Sirius over the head, while Harry watches with confused eyes. Sirius silently pulls out a wand.

"Then, what's still poking me?" Harry asked innocently.

"SIRIUS!" James yelled, hitting Sirius over the head again.

"You know every time you hit Sirius, James he loses more brain cells, and we can't afford that now, can we?" Remus said smartly.

A minute later Sirius yells "HEY!" proving Remus' point.

"Told you" Remus retorted.

"MERLIN'S BEARD! WHAT KEEPS POKING ME!" Harry yelled as he hit elbowed the thing the kept poking him. Sirius squeaked as Harry's elbow came in contact with his groin. He pushed Harry off him, and doubled over, only to hit his head on the table.

"Thanks Harry you made him lose even more brain cells." Remus said sarcastically.

"Sirius, are you crying?" questioned James.

"No" Sirius whimpered, when he actually had tears running down the side of his face. The bell finally rang, as Sirius stayed doubled over, in pain, boys that had seen the spectacle, patted Sirius on the back in sympathy.

"Are you ok, Siri?" Harry asked gently, not sure what he did wrong.

"Yeah, I'm fine Harry" He answered, not wanting Harry to be worried. He got up and wobbled out of the Great Hall to Defense Against the Dark Arts.

In Defense Against the Dark Arts, the teacher was taking attendance. When he got to Sirius Black everyone started laughing but he wasn't there so he tried to get the class to stop laughing. About a minute later Sirius came wobbling in, the class immediately started laughing again. "You are?" The Professor asked.

"Sirius" he squeaked. The class burst into a whole new fit of giggles, at the sound of his voice, well the whole class except, Harry who didn't know what was so funny. He felt sorry, he had somehow hurt Sirius, so he got up and helped Sirius to his seat, before sitting back down into his seat next to Lucius.

"Class, my name is Professor Clabbert, I will be your Defense Against the Dark Arts for the year, and hopefully next year too." Professor Clabbert was a tall skinny man, with graying brown hair. "This year we'll be learning about the Unforgivable Curses..." He was going to continue, but was cut off by Harry laughing.

"Ha ha ha, your kidding right? I learned those curses in forth year."

"Really, Mr. Potter, then tell me what they are then if you are so smart." Clabbert said smugly, thinking Harry was a smart ass.

"Imperius, Cruciatus, and Avada Kedavera, the Imperius force people to do your bidding, unless you have a strong will, the incantation is Imperio. The Cruciatus makes you feel great pain; the worst pain you will feel in your life, the incantation is Crucio. Avada Kedavera is the killing curse, it kills living objects at contact, and the incantation is Avada Kedavera" Harry replied in the same smug tone.

"How did you know? You little devil." He said in accusing voice.

"Geez, I told you I learned it in my forth year! I had a crazy teacher okay! It was him! But it wasn't him!" Harry screamed.

"Huh?" Professor Clabbert said in a smug voice. "I think you might want to go to the psychiatric ward at St. Mungo's"

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M CRAZY! I'M NOT INSANE!" Harry yelled, as he threw a book across the room and stormed out.

"Umm... ok class, you can all leave now."

"Wow, Harry got us out of class early!" Sirius yelled as he doubled over in pain again, from running out of the class so fast.

"Yeah! My son is awesome! Except the fact that everyone thinks he's insane, and hot, it's because he looks like me, isn't it" James exclaimed.

"Actually, James he doesn't look all that much like you, he has quite a bit of Lily mixed in too" Remus stated.

"But he has your horrible eyesight, but before you hit me, his eyesight's good enough to see how sexy I am, but a blind person could see that, now you can try and hit me" Sirius said, before turning around and bolting down the corridor. Remus rolled his eyes at the sight of Sirius running down the hall with James hot on his trail.

Lucius rushed towards the Common Room, he knew Harry was upset that someone called him insane, although he didn't know much about Harry's past, he knew that, that was a big insult to him. He rushed into the dorm to see Harry laying face down into his pillow.

"Harry? Are you ok?" He asked hesitantly. He knew how powerful Harry was and didn't want to get on his bad side.

"Does it look like I'm ok?" Harry said bitterly. "I'm sick of everyone saying I'm insane! Last year everyone thought I was insane, but I wasn't then everyone was like 'oh I'm so sorry', it's driving me batty!"

"It's ok, Harry that teacher's a dick, anyways."

"Ha- thanks I really needed it" Harry said, with relief in his voice.

"No problem, Harry" Lucius said, giving Harry a hug.

"Hem Hem" A sound from the doorway came.

"Oh no! it's her! What am I going to do!" Harry freaked. He turned to the doorway to see Severus standing there. "Oh sorry, I thought you were someone else"

"Umm... right, can I talk to Lucius?" Severus asked.

"Sure, I'll be down in the common room if you need me" Harry said.

"Lucius, you said, you would tell what that whole thing in the Hall was about later, now tell" Severus demanded.

"Ok, I saw Black pull Harry onto his lap and I was temporarily insane" Lucius answered.

"So, I was right, when I thought you liked him" Severus stated.

"Yeah, I liked him since I first saw him" Lucius answered.

"Oh, it was love at first sight." Severus teased.

"HEY YOU GUY! YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I FOUND!" Harry yelled as he threw the door open. Harry walked in the dorm carrying a red, black, and yellow Milk Snake, about 2 feet long.

"Harry what's that?" Severus asked, with a slight tremor in his voice.

"It's a snake! His name is Coke" Harry said with great enthusiasm.

"How did he get in here?" Severus asked, his voice getting higher every word.

"Hold on, I'll ask" Harry said, before starting to talk in Parseltounge. Lucius, heard Harry speaking in Parseltounge and looked up at Harry in shock, but after that he started to feel a stirring in his lower regions, and looked down, and saw his own snake rising to the occasion. 'Wow, that's sexy' Lucius thought. Severus was to feeling the affects, and ran off to the bathroom. "He said, a second year brought him from the Forbidden Forest, and he couldn't get back out... hey where did Severus go?"

"He had to take care of a little problem" Lucius answered smoothly.

"Ok" Harry said cheerfully, before sitting down and talking to the snake again, making Lucius groan.

* * *

Results:

Sirius: 39

Lucius: 10

Sirius/Harry/Lucius: 49

Draco: 5

Oliver: 2

Sirius/Harry/Remus: 6

Ron: 1


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry it took so long people! I have 2 things 2 say, 1) writer's block sucks.  
2) Diclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of it's charators no matter how much I wished I did. Anyways onto the story!

* * *

Sirius was back in the Gryffindor Common Room, sitting on the couch with a bag of ice in his lap, when he realized he had forgotten about Harry. "Oh crap!" Sirius exclaimed. 'This is just perfect' Sirius thought bitterly 'I just took an elbow in the groin for him, and now he's off with that Sleazy Slytherin'

"What's wrong now?" James asked.

"We forgot about Harry!"

"Oh no, I forgot about my own son! I'm a horrible father!" James yelled while freaking out and running around the couch.

"James, calm down, don't freak out. Everything's going to be all right, we'll go down to the Slytherin Common Room and demand to see Harry"

"Sirius, that's a brilliant idea, except we don't know what the password is."

"It's easy it's Toujours Pur."

"How do you know that?"

"I wasn't following Snape and dying his hair, putting signs on his back, and using jinxes to tie his shoe laces together. Oh yeah, and for an interesting fact that's my families motto."

"SIRIUS!" James yelled.

"What I told you I WASN'T doing any of that."

"You went and did all that without ME!"

"Oh that's why you are mad at me."

"Duh! Sirius! I can't believe you left me behind!"

"What are you guys doing now?" asked the confused Remus.

"Nothing" they both said in unison, with their most innocent voices.

"I don't think I wanna know." Said the now scared Remus, returning to his book.

James and Sirius shared identical mischievous smiles, before rushing up to the dorm and grabbing the invisibility cloak, and headed to the Slytherin Dorms.

When they got to a bare, damp, stone wall. They said the password Toujours Pur and entered the common room with the cloak over their bodies. When they got in there they saw Harry talking to a snake and Lucius with a pleasured look on his face.

"Is Lucius being turned on by your son talking to a snake?" Sirius asked confused.

"Why is everyone in love with my son?" James whispered.

"Because, he's so pretty" Sirius answered, easily.

"Don't say that" James said in a voice a little louder than necessary. Harry being the one closer to them stopped talking to the snake and looked around, before shrugging and turning around to look at the snake. "Let's talk to him"

"Sure" Sirius answered. They walked over to Harry and tapped him on the shoulder, and Sirius whispered "You're going to die in seven days"

"What?" Harry exclaimed, while James shot a glare at Sirius, who shrugged with a stupid grin on his face.

"Just kidding Har, me and James just wanted to talk to you, so meet us out by the lake in a couple of minutes." Sirius whispered. Harry's reply was a nod. James and Sirius snuck out of the dorm hearing him explain to Lucius he was going out.

When James and Sirius were by the lake James smacked Sirius over the head exclaiming "That's what you get for calling my son pretty to my face!"

"Hey!" Sirius exclaimed "Remus said I already lost enough brain cells and I don't need to lose anymore! And you just made me lose 50 more!"

"Hi guys!" Harry said, as he walked over to them.

"Konichiwa!" Exclaimed Sirius, as he hopped to his feet.

"Right..." Harry said giving Sirius a weird look.

"Just ignore him Harry, we were worried about you, you ran out so suddenly it was kinda weird" James explained.

"I just hate it when people call me insane"

"That shouldn't make you react that violently"

"Just bad experiences"

"Want to tell me?"

"PURPLE!" Sirius exclaimed. "What!?! I was feeling left out!" Sirius pouted, making Harry laugh.

"You are just too cute!" Harry said in a fake high pitched voice, pinching Sirius' cheeks (on his face). This only made Sirius pout harder. Then he got a wicked smirk on his on his face.

"Not as cute as you, Har-bear".

"You guys are going to make me puke! Why don't you just go find a corner and snog already!?!" James exclaimed, interrupting the flirt session.

"Why would we do that?" Harry asked in a cute innocent voice. James smacked his face and stormed off muttering about 'flirting, sexual tension, completely innocent sons, and stupid mutts'. Harry looked at Sirius and shrugged. Sirius thinking Harry might've finally gotten the hint, smacked his face, groaning.

"What's wrong Sirius?"

"Nothing"

"So, has anything happened in the last half hour since I saw you in potions?"

"Nope, except James getting mad at me for not telling him about some of the pranks I played"

"Oh, anything else?"

"Nope, you?" Sirius asked.

"I found a snake in the Common Room, and Lucius and Severus were acting really weird" Harry answered, Sirius turned a slight shade of green knowing why they were acting strange.

"REMUS!" James yelled. Remus looked up from the book he was reading to see a very annoyed James storm over to him.

"Yes?" Remus inquired.

"We're going to hook Harry up with Sirius. I never thought I would say this but, he's way too innocent! I mean, he didn't even know that Malfoy was getting hard, when he was talking in Parseltounge! OH MERLIN! HARRY CAN SPEAK PARSELTOUNGE! A POTTER, A PARSELTOUNGE! OH MY GOD!"

"James when did you find this out exactly?" Remus asked.

"About an hour ago." James answered.

"Wow. You finally realized that. My baby boy is all grown up" Remus fake cried. (Tribute to Shannon)

"Ye- wait!"

"You just pulled a Sirius!" Remus said tapping James over the head playfully.

"Ow, that hurt Moony, I can't believe you would insult me like that, I mean me, pulling a Sirius, yeah right! I mean I can see Wormtail, but me, Moony, you wound me so." James said dramatically, while Remus rolled his eyes.

"Ok, so do you have any ideas, to get Harry and Sirius together?"

"Yea-no, I was hoping you would have some ideas" James explained.

"Well we could..." Moony' voice dropped to a whisper, as he explained his idea.

"I knew there was a reason I was your friend, Moony." James said smirking evilly.

* * *

**REVEIW... please.**


	8. Chapter 8

I would like 2 thank my co- writer, beta- reader, and best friend Shannon AKA Erin Storm Black, without her, you guys wouldn't be reading this chapter tonight, considering she pretty much threatened me in to writing this. She also helped write the parts where I had absolutely no idea what to write.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, or any other characters, if I did, things would be very different...

While James and Remus were plotting, so were Lucius and Severus. "What are you going to do?" Severus asked.

"I honestly don't know" Lucius replied truthfully. "Harry is so different from everyone I've met, and I just don't know, on the upside though, Black is also stumped, he maybe good looking but he doesn't have a single brain cell in his head"

"To true" Severus replied. All while this was happening Harry and Sirius were blissfully unaware of the plotting that was taking place.

"So... what's your favorite color?" Sirius asked.

"Rainbow" Harry exclaimed, causing Sirius to laugh. "What's so funny?" Harry asked cutely. Sirius stopped and looked at Harry before shaking his head, sadly. "Your favorite color's purple right?"

"What! How did you know!?!" Sirius said loudly, wondering how Harry knew that.

"Well before you randomly yelled 'PURPLE' so I guessed" Harry said smartly, doing a very good impression of Hermione.

"Don't you feel smart?"

"You know what, I do."

"What's your most embarrassing moment?" Sirius asked, trying to find out more about Harry.

"My most embarrassing moment, was probably in my second year of Hogwarts, my best friend's little sister, sent me a singing valentine, our teacher set-up this thing for valentine's day, and all these little dwarf things, were walking around in wings and diapers, singing valentines, anyways she gave the dwarf this really bad valentine, I didn't want a Valentine from a dwarf so I tried running, needless to say it didn't work, the stupid thing tripped me, sat on me, while it was singing the stupid Valentine! It was so embarrassing thing!" Harry moaned. "So... what about you?" He said while perking up tremendously.

"I don't get embarrassed" Sirius answered proudly.

"Right" Harry said looking doubtful.

"Fine, don't believe me!" Sirius huffed. 

Back in the Slytherin Dorms  
"Severus..." Lucius whined dragging Snape's name out.

"What!" he snapped, Lucius' whining was really getting on his nerves.

"What am I going to do?"

"I don't know, I don't care, as long as you shut up!" Severus snarled.

"Help me..." Lucius whined again.

"Fine! Will it get you to shut up!?!" Snape snapped.

"Yes" Lucius said, smirking knowing that he had won again.

"Ok this is what we're going to do..." Severus whispered. After he was done telling his plan to Lucius, who was smirking quite evilly, he picked up a potion's book and started reading, while Lucius started laughing his high pitched evil laugh. Snape sighed wondering what he could do to make his slightly insane best friend shut up.

Back with Sirius and Harry  
"Hey, Sirius"

"Yes, Harry"

"I heard some boys talking about a girl who gives a really good blow job... what's a blow job?" Sirius could feel himself blushing, and while he had been in a situation like Harry, along time ago, he didn't want to tell his crush what a blow job was, so he thought of an excuse that all parents use at least once,

"Why don't you go ask you father"

"Ok, I'll ask him later" Harry said, while giving Sirius a bright smile. Sirius knew he was going to be in big trouble later, for telling Harry to go ask his dad, but right now he didn't care, he was finally going to get back at James for always hitting him.

Later at Dinner  
"Hey dad, what's a blow job?" Harry asked, his voice filled with child like innocence. Harry's question not only made all the boys that heard to look at him like he was insane, but made James spit out the pumpkin juice right into Peter's face, making him scream "GROSS" in a very high pitched voice, that made him sound like a girl.

"What?" James managed to choke out.

"What's a blow job?" Harry repeated. James looked at Sirius obviously expecting him to be the mastermind for corrupting his son, but was surprised to see him looking almost as surprised as he was.

"Why don't you go ask your mother?" James said, using the same trick his parents used on him.

"Ok" Harry said as he hopped up from his place at the table, and walked over to his mother. Sirius and James watched with growing amusement, as Lily's face turned bright red and mumbled something.

"Remus" Harry exclaimed as he walked over to his spot again "Mum, said I should ask you, she said that you were a bright young lad, and that you would know." Remus being surprised that Lily would resort to making Harry ask him what a blow job was, promptly spit drink into Peter's face.

"Um uh" Remus stuttered. Wormtail getting fed up with everything getting spit in his face yelled the answer Harry was looking for out loud.

"A BLOW JOB IS WHEN SOMEONE SUCKS A GUY'S DICK!" After Peter's exclamation, the Great Hall fell silent.

"PETTIGREW! NOT INFRONT OF THE CHILDREN! YOU CAN DO THAT STUFF ON YOUR OWN TIME!" Lucius yelled.

"BURN!" Another random person yelled. Peter sat back down his face burning red, only to be pulled out of his seat by Professor McGonagall, grabbing his ear, and pulling him out of the Hall, scolding him as they went. Poor Harry looked horrified, his face bright red with embarrassment. Lucius and Sirius were taking Peter's exclamation a different way, they were both on the floor laughing their arses off. James soon joined them, as did many of the older children and the occasional first and second year. After everyone stopped laughing, Sirius picked himself up off the floor, wiping his tears as he went, and looking at Harry whose face was a light pink, and Sirius couldn't help but think how cute he was. 

"Is that why didn't you didn't tell me?" Harry asked Sirius, which caused James to shoot Sirius a glare, which Harry didn't notice.

"No, well kind of, I didn't want James to kill me for corrupting his son" Sirius answered.

'Well, this was certainly an interesting dinner' Remus thought, as the conversation around him continued.


	9. Chappy 9

If i owned Harry Potter i think a lot of fangirls would definitely appreciate the changes! But J.K.R. is totally awesome! SUBTEXTBUTTSEX (you can actually switch around the letters and get the other word...)

* * *

After the scene in the Great Hall, Harry's face was still burning red, Harry doubted it would ever go back to its original color, no doubt, that Sirius was going to tease him about this for the next year. Harry was right when he thought he was going to get teased, but he guessed the wrong person… 

"Potty Wotty" Peeves sang with his annoying high pitched cackle, "Lil' Potty Wotty is too innocent for Blacky who is now wacky, and Malfoy who is poutfoy!" He continued. This only served to make Harry more embarrassed then he had previously been, which was saying something, he then took off running to the Slytherin Dorms, ignoring peeves calls of 'Potty Wotty', and as he entered the common room everyone turned as one to look at him, before bursting out laughing. Harry ran up the stairs as fast as he could, before flinging the door open, and jumped on the bed, and closing the curtains before settling into a very uncomfortable sleep.

The next morning Harry, woke up with a groan, memories of last night flashed threw his head, making him snuggle down deeper into his comforter, before Severus tore the covers off him, demanding that he get up, while Lucius was smirking from the bathroom, combing his below shoulder length hair, before putting his hair in a ponytail.

"Noooooo, please don't make me Severus" Harry whined.

"C'mon Potter, I don't want to listen to your whining, get up, get dressed, and meet us in the Great Hall in 20 minutes, and if you don't things will be very… unpleasant". Severus sneered, the last part, stomping out of the dorm, much like his future self did. Lucius followed him, but not before winking at Harry, leaving him completely befuddled. Harry finished getting changed (very reluctantly) and walked slowly towards the Great Hall, as if he was on death sentence. He made it to the Great Hall just in time, as Severus swung the door open, a scowl on his face, looking murderous. He spotted Harry and pushed him into the Great Hall, which fell silent upon Harry's arrival, and dragged him to the Slytherin table and forced him to sit down and told Lucius to keep a good hold on him, as Harry looked ready to bolt out of the Hall any second.

Lucius gladly wrapped his arm around Harry's slim waist, using Severus telling him to hold on to Harry as an excuse. Sirius looked ready to punch him, but Lucius was beyond caring, as he held Harry close to him. Eventually the Great Hall turned back to it's usual loud sound, which Harry was grateful for, and he didn't seem ready to bolt as he did before, but Lucius held on to him still and would send smirks to Sirius every now and then.

As breakfast continued, Lucius and Severus tried to make conversation with Harry, who was refusing to talk, came Harry's next big surprise. Harry was sitting at the table ignoring Severus and Lucius, when all of a sudden there was a big puff a smoke from the seat next to him, and as the smoke cleared, there sat Seamus Finnegan.

"Seamus?!?" Harry Exclaimed

"'arry!?!" Seamus said with just as much surprise.

"Seamus?"

"'arry!"

"Seamus! What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"… I… um … don't exactly know" Seamus said scratching the back of his head embarrassedly.

"…okay... what, were you doing last?" Harry asked.

Seamus' eyes glazed of as he tried to remember what he was doing last "Umm… oh! I remember now!" Seamus exclaimed. Neither of boys noticed as the Hall was silent, again. "I was sitting at breakfast, trying to turn my water into rum, like I always do, and I took a sip, and poof, I'm here, sitting next to you"

"Umm… okay, we have to see Dumbledore" Harry replied.

"Hold on, two more things, Dean was wondering why you said no to him when he asked you out"

"I don't like Dean that way"

"Ok and why are you sitting at the Slytherin table next to Professor Snape and Malfoy?"

"Oh in first year I was supposed to be sorted into Slytherin. But I convinced the hat to put me in Gryffindor, and apparently I was rude to the hat this time and it put me in Slytherin, and Lucius and Severus along with Frank, but I barely see him, and we became friends. Now are you ready to see Dumbledore?"

"Almost, I want to see if my luck is any better in the past then it is in the future 'Eye of Rabbit'" Seamus said.  
"Heartstring Hum  
Turn this water  
Into Rum"

Seamus looked into his goblet "IT WORKED!" Seamus cheered, he then took a huge gulp of the rum, and beamed at Harry. He then poofed away in a large cloud of smoke.

"That was interesting, and somehow I don't think he did the spell right, oh well, he never could get that spell right in the first place" Harry said shaking his head sadly, before turning back to his meal.

"So… who's Dean?" Lucius asked feeling more than a little jealous, that someone had asked his Harry out.

Harry blinked cutely, before answering "Oh he's a dorm mate of mine, great drawer"

"What about what… Seamus, is that his name? Said about him asking you out?" Lucius questioned.

"Oh that, umm Dean asked me out, at first I thought it was a joke, I guess it wasn't" Harry answered.

"Ok time for class" Severus said as he stood up, hopefully in time to stop Lucius' plotting to kill that Dean boy 'the kid isn't even born yet and he already wants to kill him, I fell so bad for that boy' Severus thought. Harry and Lucius stood up, Harry chatting endlessly, about something or other, while Lucius was plotting his revenge on the boy who asked his Harry out. The boys walked out of the Hall not knowing that James was planning to put Remus' plan in action, and that with the luck he had been having lately that it was probably going to go horribly wrong.

'I sure hope this going to work, because if it doesn't James is going to have my head.' Remus thought as he watched the Slytherin boys walk out of the Hall.

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Just to let you all know Harry will begin to receive random people visiting from the future. Why? you ask. because i want them to! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA! 


	10. Chappy 10

Sirius' POV  
'Damn, why does he always where such baggy clothes?' I thought as I watched Harry exit the Great Hall.

James then hit me, hard, over the head.

"Hey!" I exclaimed incredulously "What was that for!?!"

"Tough love, you dumb slut, you shouldn't be saying things about my son in front of me, and I really don't need to know what's going on in your head." James said. I blinked, then blinked, and then blinked, before realizing I had spoken out loud and that James was probably mad at him for speaking about his son that way.

"Well I mean, look at those clothes, they barely fit him! I think he would good in some nice leather pants and some nice shirts that actually fit him… I'm going to take him shopping!" I exclaimed, I was practically drooling, thinking about Harry in leather pants and a nice tight shirt.

"NO! Bad dog, you will not take my son shopping, god knows what you'll make him wear." James practically yelled.

"But I wanna take him shopping!"

"You sound like a 5 year old"

"How do you know I'm not!"

"Well I'm going to go now, you can talk to yourself and do whatever you want, but I'm going to go, and you are not going to follow me" James said shakily, probably thinking that I really thought I was a 5 year old, before backing up a few steps before running out of the Great Hall as fast his legs would carry him. I laughed, my high pitched evil cackle (that scared many first years), before pretending to choke on an Altoid, and resuming my evil cackle again. By this time the whole Great Hall was staring at me as if he had escaped the Mental Ward at St. Mungo's, before realizing that it was me and I probably already escaped a couple of times, and resumed their meals.

Me, Remus, and Peter were walking to their Care of Magical Creatures class, when we saw blinding flash of purple light. Then we heard scream as a body flew out of the light. The body picked itself of the ground and brushed itself off. I thought I heard it mutter something like "damn Neville, he always screws up potions". Before looking around and spotting us.

The figure walked over to them and said "Hi, I'm Dean Thomas, I haven't seen you before"

Lucius' POV  
I turned around as soon as he heard the name Dean Thomas, I felt myself boiling with anger. Apparently Harry had also heard the name and turned around with a shocked expression on his face, before his face broke out in a large grin.

"DEAN!" Harry yelled.

"HARRY, OH MERLIN! The whole wizarding world is looking for you!" Dean yelled, I vaguely wondered why everyone in the wizarding world would be looking for my Harry, before throwing that thought in the back of my head, as I started thinking about all the different ways I could torture the boy in front of me, for asking my Harry out. I watched as Dean ran up to my Harry and threw his arms around him, I could feel my face flush red with anger, 'this just gives me more incentive to kill him' I thought, I watched as he picked Harry up while swinging him around. Harry wrapped his arms around Dean giggling as Dean spun him around. When Dean finally released Harry, I looked towards Black, just to see he was reacting in much the same way I was, we were furious, both of our faces were flushed in anger, our fists clenched, gritting our teeth. Dean and Harry (well more so Harry) being the naïve people they were, didn't notice anything, before heading up to the headmaster's office, leaving me in a furious rage, and a livid Black.

Normal POV  
'Great now I have to calm them down' Remus thought sighing, just as Lucius started screaming.

"THAT DISGUSTING VILE MUDBLOOD! HOW DARE HE TAKE MY HARRY LIKE THAT! I WILL GET YOU BACK MARK MY WORDS!" Lucius shouted. Harry and Dean remained blissfully oblivious, as they were to far away to hear Lucius' words, Sirius however, heard Lucius' rant.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOUR HARRY!?! HE'S MINE! HE WOULD NEVER WANT SOME SLIMY ARROGANT SLYTHERIN!" Sirius yelled.

"Say that again Black, I dare you." Lucius hissed in a deadly whisper.

"Fine, Harry would never and I mean never, want an arrogant, snot-nosed, stuck-up, rich Slytherin slime ball" Sirius said. Lucius then drew his wand out, as did Sirius.

"MALFOY! SIRIUS! YOU'RE TREATING HARRY LIKE A POSSESSION! NEITHER OF YOU OWN HIM! HE'S NOT YOUR HARRY! HE'S A HUMAN BEING NOT AN ANIMAL!" Remus hollered over them before stomping off to Care of Magical Creatures.

"I hate to say it Malfoy, but he's right, neither of us own him… I say we work together to make sure Thomas doesn't get him!" Sirius exclaimed.

"As much as I don't want to have to deal with you Black, I agree that mudblood is going to seduce our Harry, we must stop him!" Lucius vowed.

"Hi guys!" Harry said as he bounced over to Sirius and Lucius, while Dean was trailing behind him, watching him amusedly. 'He's probably watching Harry's gorgeous arse' Sirius thought bitterly. "Guess what?!?" Harry asked.

"What?" Lucius replied in an I-really-don't-care voice that Harry ignored.

"Dean gets to stay here, with me, till Dumbledore finds a way to get us back to our present!" Harry said excitedly. Dean was then on the ending of 2 very vicious glares, which made him squeak and hide behind Harry. "What are you doing Dean?"

"Umm… nothing, hey don't we have a class to get to?" Dean asked, trying to hide the fact that he had been hiding behind Harry.

"Oh yeah, how could I forget!?!" Harry exclaimed. "C'mon! We don't have all day, you guys!" 

"So Harry, what monster do you think Kettleburn is going to release on us?" Lucius asked, shoving Dean off to the side just as Sirius moved towards Harry other side. Dean had 2 options he could walk behind Harry and follow the other guys or he could walk on the other side of the guy. Needless to say Dean chose to walk with the guys. The walk to care of Magical Creatures Class was long and awkward, Dean could feel their death glares on him the whole time, and if he looked in the general direction of Harry, Sirius would punch him in the arm… hard. All while this was happening Harry remained completely oblivious.


	11. Chappy 11

DISCLAIMER: Sees shooting star I wish I may, I wish I might, I have this wish, I wish tonight, I wish I owned Harry Potter looks around Damn it didn't work, Oh well at least I still have fanfiction.

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"Okay class" Professor Kettleburn called happily. Professor Kettleburn was a man in his late twenty's maybe early thirty's, that was vibrant and very happy most of the time (much to the annoyance of the class). "Today we'll be working with Blast-Ended Skrewt" was as far as he got, before twin screams filled with horror interrupted him.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, THEY'VE COME BACK FOR ME!" Dean shrieked.

"THE HORROR! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! THE HORROR!" Harry screeched. The class watched in amusement (except Sirius and Lucius) as Harry and Dean clung tightly to each other, practically crying.

"What's wrong?" The professor asked.

"HOW CAN YOU TORTURE STUDENTS LIKE THAT! WHAT DID WE DO TO DESERVE THIS!?!" Harry yelled. The class was now very scared, as they realized what the two boys weren't kidding. They had a very good reason to be scared to, there were two Gryffindors (1 being a former Gryffindor) clinging to each other as if they were each other's life line.

"I see you two have encountered Blast-Ended Skrewts before" Kettleburn interrupted their little freak out fest.

"HAVE WE ENCOUNTERED BLAST-ENDED SKREWTS BEFORE!?! OF COURSE WE HAVE THEY ALMOST KILLED US! YOU KNOW THERE'S A REASON WHY THEY'RE RATED 5 X'S ON THE MINISTRY LIST!" Dean shouted, secretly glad that he got to hug Harry.

"Uh huh" Harry agreed in a small voice, nodding vigorously.

"Okay, since you two are obviously have an extreme phobia against the Skrewts, you may take a study break in the Great Hall until we're done with them." Kettleburn said.

"Okay!" Harry said hoping up, dragging Dean to the Great Hall. Professor Kettleburn merely shook his head before continuing with the lesson, which had the class freaked out, and the reaction Harry and Dean didn't help any with that. During that whole freak out fest (compliments of Dean and Harry) Sirius and Lucius were seeing red, they were each thinking 'how dare he touch my Harry!'.

Meanwhile Harry and Dean were having the time of their lives in the Room of Requirement.

"Oh Merlin! Ron actually did that?!?" Harry asked, while laughing his arse off. Dean was telling the story about how Ron had asked Susan out, let's say that it wasn't pretty.

"Yeah, you should've seen it! His whole face was bright red! The reddest I've ever seen it! It was hilarious!" Dean said, as the two exploded into laughter again.

Sirius and Peter had paired together, seeing as James immediately picked Remus as his partner.

"Ok everyone, each group will be given a Skrewt, and will take care of it till the end of class, we'll be doing this for about 3 weeks" Kettleburn said. Each group had a Skrewt assigned to them, and unluckily for Peter and Sirius, they got the biggest Skrewt. They both looked at each other and gulped, their Gryffindor courage failing them. It got worse as Sirius moved forward to get the leash just to see it snap the leash in half. Sirius jumped back as quick as possible, he seemed to have forgotten Skrewts didn't like sudden movements, and quickly found himself and Peter being chased by the Skrewt, screaming.

Lucius and Severus were fairing much better then Sirius and Peter, they had picked Crabbe and Goyle as their partners, both of them were all muscle and no brain. They were watching Crabbe and Goyle wrestle with the Skrewts with amusement, each smirking slightly, chatting as if there was nothing more to do in the world.

"This is a great class" Severus said, as he watched his partner Crabbe get a nasty bite from the Skrewt.

"That it is my friend, that it is" Lucius said, as he smirked watching Goyle get a very unpleasant burn.

Remus and James, were doing an equal an equal amount of work, well James was doing all the physical work while Remus standing by watching and yelling instructions, when needed, eating a big milk chocolate bar, that he had been saving.

"No, James get a tighter grip on the leash" Remus instructed. Unluckily for him, it not only got James to look at him, but also the Skrewt's. As soon as the Skrewt saw the chocolate it immediately went after Remus, who noticed what it was doing and held the chocolate protectively to his chest.

"NO IT'S MY CHOCOLATE! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT! GO GET YOUR OWN!" Remus yelled, running around, as the Skrewt charged after him.

Professor Kettleburn looked around his class, shaking his head smirking slightly. 'I love this class', he thought as he surveyed the destruction.

"Wait let me get this straight, Cho's gay?" Harry asked.

"Yep" Dean answered.

"What's gay? Harry asked. Dean smacked himself in the face, 'Great, just great, I have to explain, what gay is to Harry…this is going to be awkward' Dean thought.

"When someone's gay that means they like the same gender" Dean explained.

"Oh… so I'm gay?" Harry questioned.

"Do you like boys?" Dean asked, starting to get excited.

"Yeah"

"Well then you're gay, unless you like girls to?"

"Eww, no, girls have cooties!" Harry said.

"I SAID IT WAS MINE!" Unfortunately Remus' screams alerted all the other Skrewts and they all were now charging after him.

"MOONY! JUST GIVE THEM THE CHOCOLATE!" James yelled, trying to help his friend.

"NO! I'LL NEVER GIVE UP THE CHOCOLATE! IT'S MINE! THEY CAN'T HAVE IT!"

"MOONY! GIVE THEM THE CHOCOLATE AND I'LL BUY YOU A NEW ONE!" James screamed

"NO MY CHOCOLATE! Though you can buy me more anytime you want" Remus said stopping, temporarily forgetting the Skrewts in his dreams of more chocolate. "AHHHH!" Remus yelled as the Skrewts continued after him.

"PLEASE MOONY GIVE THEM THE CHOCOLATE!" Peter yelled.

"I KNOW WE CAN DO! WE CAN FEED PETTIGREW TO THE SKREWTS AS A SACRFICE AND PEACE GIFT TO THE SKREWTS!" Lucius yelled.

"NO!" Peter yelled. As the rest of the class (except the Marauders) yelled "YEAH!" Everyone then chased after Peter, and the Skrewts abandoned Remus to go chase after the little chubby boy that everyone else was chasing.

"My chocolate" Remus muttered as he finished the last part of his chocolate bar.

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NOTICE: SINCE I GOT SO MANY VOTES I DECIDED TO DO ALTERNATE ENDINGS!

ALSO **_REVEIW!!!!! PLEASE! PLEASE PLEASE!!!!_**


	12. Chapter 12

Hello All! I would just like to say this chappy update is for animegurl088's Birthday! I don't know how old you're turing but have a wonderful birthday!

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During dinner the Great Hall was it's usual loud volume, when a scream rang through the air.

"AHHH!" The high pitched girly screams rang through the Hall. Everyone looked for the source of the noise when Harry suddenly realized where the noise came form.

"Where's Wormtail?" He asked, not really caring in the slightest. The Marauders looked at each other before realizing where Peter was and what he was with.

"THE SKREWTS!" They yelled as the bolted from the Hall. The Great Hall quieted as they watched the Marauders run through the huge double doors that lead to the grounds. A couple minutes later the Marauders walked through the doors of the Hall, carrying a very bruised and burnt Peter.

Peter moaned in agony, and almost as if the moan broke a spell, most of the Great Hall broke into a gale of laughter. The Slytherins dropped their masks, as they saw Lucius and Severus burst in laughter. The Ravenclaws laughed because they had never liked the rat, he was too stupid and annoying. The Hufflepuffs had the least amount of people laughing, but at least half of the table was laughing, they never trusted the rat, they knew he was just a follower, he wasn't loyal and loyalty was what the Hufflepuff house was all about. The Gryffindors didn't really care about what happened to Pettigrew, they always had felt he wouldn't fit in there house, he wasn't brave, he merely followed the people that were protecting him.

The Marauders gaped as they looked around the Great Hall, they never thought the students would laugh over another person's pain, sure they knew Peter wasn't popular, but this was absurd.

"Oh my!" Madame Pomfrey shrieked as she ran over to the boys, and levitated Peter away to the hospital wing.

"What happened to him?" Harry questioned, he was one of the people that didn't laugh, he knew what it was like to be in pain, and even if he hated the rat he didn't want him to be hurt… much.

"Well we were in Care of Magical Creatures, when the Skrewts started chasing Remus, and everyone was worried, then Malfoy shouted that we should sacrifice Peter, and everyone started chasing him, and then the Skrewts came and we all split, afraid of the Skrewts, who were apparently still chasing him, and I guess we kinda forgot about him" James explained sheepishly.

"Oh… ok" was all Harry said as he walked back to the Slytherin table, and sat down next to Lucius, who then wrapped his arm around Harry's waist, and smiled smugly at Dean. Sirius felt himself swelling with jealousy, and then he saw Dean's reaction. The said boy was glaring at Lucius with fire burning in his eyes. 'Oh, I get it!' Sirius thought 'Lucius is just doing this to get him mad, so he'll be more likely to mess up! Damn he's good'. The Marauders sat down, and no one noticed a small mischievous smile playing on Sirius' lips.

"Come on Harry! Just try it!" Lily pleaded a week later.

"But I don't want to" Harry whined, he had decided to get to know his mother better, and he was having second thoughts right now.

"Please Harry just try it on! I want to see how you look!" Lily tried again, holding up a Hogwarts uniform, and not just any Hogwarts uniform, a girls Hogwarts uniform.

"No, nah uh! No way!" Harry replied immediately, looking at the uniform in disgust.

"Please" Lily begged, pouting and making her green eyes grow big.

"Fine! Just don't use the puppy dog eyes again!"

"Ok!" Lily exclaimed cheerfully while thinking 'I can't wait to see Sirius' reaction that will teach him to charm my hair green.' And while Lily was lost in her plot of revenge, Harry was getting changed.

"Wow! I see why girls like these so much!" Harry said as he spun around making the skirt lift up and reveal plaid boxers.

"Umm… yeah" Lily answered. 'This is going to work even better than I thought it would' Lily thought with an evil smile.

"Hehe to bad I can't wear this all day" Harry said, sighing wistfully, never seeing his mother's evil smile.

"What!?!" she questioned alarmed "Why not!?!"

"Because I can't go around school dressed in a girl's uniform" Harry explained.

"Oh that's no problem" Lily stated "I'll just charm the uniform, to make everyone see a normal boy's Slytherin uniform" she said as the quick explanation formed in her head.

"Really?!? OK!" Harry said excitedly. 'Crap now I have to make up something that sounds like it might be a charm' she thought.

"Umm… ok… elropachico" Lily said, saying the first thing that came into her mind.

"…How come I still see a girl's uniform?" Harry asked, tilting his head to the side cutely.

"That's because you're the one wearing the clothes, so they still look like girl's clothes, but to me and everyone else it looks like you're wearing your regular uniform" Lily explained.

"Oh…ok, thanks mum!" Harry said skipping out of the dorm room. 'Jeez how naïve can you get?' Lily thought as another idea came to mind. 'Sirius won't know what hit him, MUAHAHAHAAAAAAA' Lily's thoughts continued like this as she followed Harry.

'Why do I have a feeling that something interesting is going to happen today' Remus thought 'Oh look! Hot Chocolate!'


	13. Chappy 13

AN: I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WISH I DID THE CREDIT BELONGS TO J.K. ROWLING-SAMA!

'I wonder where Harry is, he normally here by now… oh no! What if he's being raped, and is calling me for help! And I'm here sitting, eating breakfast!' Sirius thought frantically.

"Sirius… Sirius… SIRIUS!" James yelled.

"Huh? Wha?"

"Mate, are you okay? You're spacing out" James asked, concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just worried about Harry, he's normally here by now" Sirius answered.

"Don't worry about him, I'm sure he's just running late or something".

'I really hope he's ok' Sirius thought '…hey look hot chocolate!' Sirius grabbed the drink before anyone else would and poured it in his goblet. 'Mmm, it tastes so good' he thought while savoring the hot drink, 'I wonder why Moony hasn't drunk all the hot chocolate, he's normally done with it by now'.

Sirius' thoughts continued much like this for the next couple of minutes, each time he would take a sip of his drink, he would savor it. That was until the Great Hall doors creaked open, revealing Lily Evans and Harry Potter. Sirius spit out the hot chocolate that he had, had in his mouth, as soon as he caught sight of Harry, and what the boy was wearing. 'Holy Merlin! He looks hot!' was his only thought. His eyes were wide, as they roamed over Harry's body, starting from the 2 inch high heels, to the knee high socks, up the smooth feminine legs, to the plaid mini skirt, up to the blouse and tie.

While Sirius was busy gaping so were the rest of the boys in the Hall. Lucius was the first to snap out of the trance that Harry, had managed to put most of the boys in.

"Harry over here!" he yelled, waving Harry over to the Slytherin table. Harry waved back and started walking towards the table.

'My goodness, he's got a fine arse!' Sirius thought as Harry passed the Gryffindor table, unaware that a majority of the other boys were thinking the same thing.

"Hey guys" Harry said as he sat down, next to Severus across from Lucius. Lucius was for once glad Harry that felt the need to sit next to Severus, he didn't need to get any harder by being able to see Harry's smooth thighs. 'Well at least he won't see my little problem… not that he would know what it is' Lucius thought.

"Why is everyone looking at me?" Harry asked shifting in his seat uncomfortably.

"Because, you're dressed like a bloody gir-" Was as far as Severus got, before Lucius kicked his shin under the table.

"Because, you look so nice" Lucius answered. 'Even though that outfit makes me want to jump on him, I wouldn't want him to change out of that outfit for anything… except maybe a kiss… or a date… with Harry' he thought.

"Thank you, Lucius" Harry said, innocently.

"You're welcome, Luv"

The rest of Breakfast passed uneventfully, if you counted; Lucius sending a death glare at every guy that even looked at Harry, Sirius punching a Ravenclaw for saying Harry looked beautiful, and Severus muttering under his breathe about 'moronic people, that he didn't have enough patience to deal with', it was very uneventful.

"Hey Harry!" Sirius said, catching up to the said boy, in the hallway. He had left the other Marauders behind, so he could help Lucius protect Harry from perverts.

"Mornin' Sirius" Harry greeted.

"Hello Black" Lucius said, while Severus quietly glaring at the boy.

"Malfoy, Snape" Sirius said, in a cold, more meant for Severus, than Lucius.

The boys entered the Charms classroom and the class went silent, the boys that were in the class all turned their heads and smiled goofily at him. That is before noticing the 2 fuming purebloods and immediately turned away.

"Come on" Harry said, wondering why the 2 boys were glaring.

The 4 boys were almost to their seats as tiny Professor Flitwick came in, his eyes scanned the classroom, and as he saw Harry he almost dropped the scrolls he had in his arms, he looked at Harry, shocked, for a few moments, before smiling and muttering about 'kids these days', and moved towards his desk. The 4 boys took their seats, Harry was in between Lucius and Sirius, and Severus was next to Lucius.

"Okay, class" the tiny man started "today we'll be learning about-" was all Sirius heard as he began spacing off, thinking about his new favorite subject, Harry. 'I wonder what he's wearing under that skirt' Sirius thought as his already tight pants became even tighter, causing Sirius to let out a low groan.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked, leaning the closer to Sirius, fortunately or unfortunately for Sirius, this action caused the boy's skirt to ride up a bit, exposing more of Harry's thigh. Harry hadn't noticed, but Sirius sure had, 'It's official' he thought, trying so very hard not to stare at Harry's legs, 'god put Harry Potter on this earth, and back in time, to torture me', he thought groaning again, only a bit louder.

"Sirius, do you need to go the hospital wing?" Harry asked worriedly, leaning over again, and putting his hand to Sirius' forehead. Lucius glared at Sirius thinking he was doing this on purpose, though he knew he wasn't when he looked at Harry and saw the partly exposed thigh, he could barely stop himself from groaning. Lucius turned away before he to was groaning like an idiot, he did have an image to uphold after all.

"No, I'm fine" Sirius said, desperately trying not to look at Harry.

"Seriously Sirius, what's wrong?" Harry asked, grasping Sirius' face in his hands, and making him look at him. Sirius couldn't help his roaming eyes, the eyes that soon stopped on the roaming, as they saw the exposed thigh.

"SIRIUS! OH MY GOD! YOU'RE BLEEDING!" Harry yelled, jumping up from his seat. The rest of the class turned to look at the 2 boys, some started laughing at the sight, while others shook their heads, pitying Sirius. Sirius was still staring at Harry as his nosebleed got heavier.

"Oh my!" Professor Flitwick squeaked. "Mr. Potter, take him to the hospital wing".

"Ok, c'mon Sirius" Harry said, pulling Sirius out of his chair, and dragging him out the door, grabbing a tissue and forcing it in Sirius' face. The rest of the boys sighed as Harry walked through the door, and out of view. 'He better not try anything' Lucius thought, darkly 'and if he does, he will find himself in a world of pain.'

'I knew something interesting was going to happen today' Remus thought with a smirk, taking out a chocolate bar, and munching on it, watching amusedly as Harry dragged Sirius out the door.

And another Chapter that ends with remus! yay! you gotta love remus!

remember people reveiw!


	14. Chappy 14

'Don't look at his arse, don't look at his arse', was the only thought going through Sirius' head, as Harry dragged him to the hospital wing. 'Don't look at his- aw the hell with it!' Sirius thought, as he lowered his head to stare, at the said arse. He had really tried not to look at Harry, really he had, unfortunately for him, it didn't work. Harry was bouncing around, almost like he was on a sugar high, and with Harry bouncing around, the skirt would lift up a bit, giving Sirius a tantalizing view of Harry's leg, before fluttering back into place, and that was not helping Sirius. As they neared the hospital wing, Sirius felt more and more relieved, his nosebleed hadn't stopped, but it didn't get any heavier. 'It's not heavier, which is good, I don't need anymore embarrassment… hey! This is the first time I've been embarrassed! …now I see why everyone hates it' He thought.

As soon as both boys entered the hospital wing, Madame Pomfrey came rushing over to them, exclaiming "My Lord! What happened!?!"

"I don't know, we were in Charms and all of a sudden he got a nosebleed!" Harry exclaimed, almost hysterically.

Madame Pomfrey had figured out why Sirius had gotten the nosebleed and gave him a sly look, that almost seemed to say 'you dirty boy', making him all the more embarrassed.

"You can go back to class now, Potter" Madame Pomfrey, stated almost coldly. 'I guess she's still mad at him for breaking out of here, of course I don't blame him, who wouldn't want to break out of here?' Sirius thought, before coming back to reality as Harry said goodbye, and left.

As Harry was heading back to Charms, Lucius Malfoy was doing some serious thinking, 'if he touched Harry, I will teach him why you shouldn't mess with a Malfoy'. Just as this thought made it's way through Lucius' mind, the door burst open to reveal a flushed, and slightly panting Harry Potter. 'HE TRIED SOMETHING! I'M GOING TO HANG HIM BY HIS BALLS AND LOWER HIM INTO THE LAKE FOR THE GRINDYLOWS TO EAT!' was the outraged thought that had Lucius seething. While Lucius was fuming Harry made his way to his seat, Lucius turned his head to question him about what happened, when his breathe caught in his throat at the beautiful sight before him, Harry's face was dusted a light pink, his eyes half lidded, almost as if he was attempting to stay awake, his pink lips slightly parted, as he panted quietly.

'Wow, he's gorgeous' Lucius thought, when he felt his pants become even tighter than they already were. 'LOOK AWAY! LOOK AWAY! IF YOU DON'T YOU'LL END UP JUST LIKE BLACK!' Lucius' brain screamed.

'But he looks so hot, like he just had the best sex of his life!' the little voice, that everyone (including Malfoy's) had in the back of their head, argued. Suddenly Lucius went rigid, he replayed that last thought in his head, before turning furious, his face showed nothing but inside his mind was ranting.

'Black and I agreed we wouldn't touch Harry until Thomas was out of the way! That two timing Gryffindor! And forget about the Grindylows! I'm going to feed him to a Chinese Fireball!' Lucius silently fumed, already thinking about plans of revenge. About five minutes later Harry leaned over to Lucius still slightly panting and said,

"Don't get on the bad side of Madame Pomfrey, she's scary" Lucius looked at Harry like he was crazy, Harry seeing the look started explaining. "She kicked me out of the hospital wing after I dropped Sirius off, and she was all mean and scary like she normally is, so I ran all the way here."

'So Black didn't try anything!' Lucius thought with a mental sigh of relief.

"So, what did I miss?" Harry asked.

"Huh? Oh nothing, just Flitwick going on and on about nothing" Lucius answered, even though he himself had no idea what was going on. He smiled as he saw Harry accept his answer. The rest of class was uneventful, the only time when the class wasn't asleep was when Peter jumped out of his chair yelling, "Let's rock!", before collapsing back into his seat, asleep. Professor Flitwick ignored the outburst, as this happened a lot, but the rest of the class couldn't hold back their laughter.

The bell finally rang after an hour of torture (for both the students and the teacher), the students burst out of the room running, glad to be away from their boredom, with the teacher yelling after them what their homework assignment was, not that any of them listened.

"WE'RE FREE!" James shouted running down the hall, jumping for joy, literally.

"Yes, saved by the bell." Remus agreed, tiredly, even he had found that class boring.

"Oh! That was so interesting! Professor Flitwick is so great at teaching!" Lily rambled, her friends rolled their eyes at her, they maybe best friends but, they hated her after charms, Lily would go on and on for hours.

"Oh I agree!" James ran up to Lily and grabbed her hand, "do you want to go to the library and discuss the finer points of Professor Flitwick's lecture?" James asked, pathetically.

"Please, like you know anything about Charms, Potter" Lily replied walking off. Her two friends mouthed a 'thank you' to James. At least now they wouldn't have to listen to Lily go on about Charms, now she would rant about Potter, and they could sneak off. Which they later did.

"Please, please, please!" James begged getting on his knees, cupping his hands together, giving Lily his best puppy dog eyes.

"No" Lily supplied shortly, and started walking off.

"WHY?!?" James started to sob.

"James, you're pathetic" Remus said, sadly.

"I know just comfort me, if you do, I'll give a chocolate bar" James said, as he stopped pretending to sob.

Remus immediately perked up at the mention of chocolate, and immediately answered "yes", and then James started to pretend to cry again. While Remus patted his back saying things like 'there, there, everything will be alright' and 'it's ok let it all out'. But Remus was really thinking, 'it better be a big chocolate bar.'

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If i get 15 reveiws in 2 days, i'll update in two days! 


	15. Chappy 15

After the torture the was charms class, the students headed off for break, some heading for the lake, some headed toward the library, others headed for broom closets, which is exactly where Harry (not that he knew where he was heading), Lucius, and Sirius were going. Lucius and Sirius were both dragging Harry by his hands to the closest broom closet, each one pointedly ignoring the other. As the two reached the closet they flung the door open as one, ignoring Harry's 'what are we doing?', and pushed him in the closet, the two of them following closely behind, still ignoring each other.

Lucius quickly latched onto the closest living object in the small closet. He thrusted his hands into the shoulder length hair (A/N: remember in the first or second chappy I said Harry had shoulder length hair), quickly pushing them to the back of the head, before forcing the soft lips to meet his. Lucius smiled into as he felt the lips begin to respond to his, he licked the soft lips that were connected to his, asking for entrance, and he almost shouted with joy as the lips let his tongue enter the moist cavern. 'Take that Black, now Harry is mine!' he thought, as the kiss grew more intense.

All of a sudden a voice said "lumos", but both participants in the kiss ignored it, until a soft sweet voice asked…

"Does Sirius have something stuck in his throat?"

Sirius' and Lucius' eyes flew open at hearing the voice, they knew that voice! It was Harry's voice! Both Sirius and Lucius eyes look towards Harry, before slowly looking back at the person they were kissing, only to see they we snogging each other!

Both boys jumped apart, each making loud over exaggerated gagging sounds, while Harry tilted his head cutely, with a confused look on his face.

"Or do both of you have something stuck in your throats?" Harry once again questioned.

Sirius and Lucius glared daggers once they stopped coughing and making over exaggerated gagging sounds.

"It must be some of the stuff Filch leaves in here" Harry continued, "did you know one time I found a blueberry flavored snake balloon in one of the closets actually I think it was this one! And another I found a cream covered sock! It was so weird, and Draco ended up throwing up his lunch, I don't know why, but it sure did smell after he lost his lunch." Harry didn't notice the incredulous looks he was receiving from Sirius and Lucius as he continued his story.

"Anyways what are we doing in here?" Harry asked, and without waiting for an answer he continued on, "are we playing hiding-and-go-seek? Who are we hiding from? Is it James, it must be James. Remus is hiding to right, how come he isn't here? I bet James is cheating! He must've convinced Remus to help him look! He gave him chocolate… I want some chocolate, but I don't want to go to counseling for my chocolate obsession like Remus does " Harry rambled.

Lucius and Sirius looked at Harry like he was going insane, before turning and looking at each other. They both seemed to understand that they wanted to be as far away from this closet as possible. They both turned to the door, before Sirius reached forward for the door knob, he tried twisting it, but it stopped before it turn all the way open. Both of the boys turned to look at each with pure horror etched on to their handsome features, the door was locked, they were stuck in a closet, that Filch apparently used for something other than cleaning supplies, with their crush (something which they thought would be heaven, but was quickly turning into a nightmare), and the said crush wouldn't shut up.

"And another time Ron and I were hiding, and we found some lotion and cat hair, that was kinda odd, but Ron turned green, he looked like a Christmas tree with his red hair and green face, that was funny." Oh and this other time, we found some chains! I remember Filch saying they used to hang students by their thumbs in the dungeon, but these chains were against the wall" Harry continued noticing the shock and revulsion on Sirius' and Lucius' faces, "you know kinda like the ones over there." Harry said moving he wand over to a dark corner revealing the chains that couldn't have been seen in the dark.

"OH!" Sirius shouted.

"MY" Lucius yelled.

"GOD" They yelled together as they began clawing away at the door… not that it was working.

5 hours later 

"Why haven't they found us yet?" Harry asked, referring to the fake hide-and-seek game they were involved in. Sirius and Lucius just grumbled a response to tired to care to respond. "Oh well I'm bored and I have to go to the bathroom, so I'm leaving, Alohomora" Harry said as he calmly walked out the door heading towards the bathroom.

Sirius and Lucius looked at each other before each saying as one "why didn't we think of that?" and if that wasn't scary enough they said "it was because you screwed up my brain by sticking your tongue down my throat!" At the same time. Both boys glared at each other before stalking off in different directions. But as Lucius and Sirius stormed off to their separate common rooms they could not help but think the kiss they had shared wasn't that bad.

Elsewhere in the class Remus was very happy, he was finally getting his chocolate that James said he would give him if he comforted him, and it was a big chocolate bar to.


	16. Chappy 16

"GIVE ME MY CHOCOLATE!" Remus screamed, as Madame Pomfrey held out a Hershey Kiss, he made a grab for it as Madame Pomfrey pulled it back in time so Remus couldn't get it. "MY CHOCOLATE! I WANT IT!" Remus was now throwing a very large temper tantrum about a very small Hershey Kiss.

As this was happening Madame Pomfrey wrote down Remus' reaction while she made small noises indicting that she was not paying much attention to Remus, which was a very big mistake.

"Ok, Remus" Madame Pomfrey started, "you know the drill, I hold up a picture, and you tell me the first thing you think of, ok?"

Remus nodded, but didn't comprehend what was said, he wasn't paying attention at the time, he was to busy salivating at the site of the chocolate. Madame Pomfrey sighed and as she saw Remus' reaction, she didn't understand why she always got stuck treating the crazy ones.

"Are you ready?" she asked. Remus nodded still not paying attention, she sighed knowing from past sessions that Remus would never be cured.

The first picture she held up looked like a retarded butterfly, Remus face immediately gained a happy look as he shouted "CHOCOLATE!" at the top of his lungs. He dove for the picture only for Madame Pomfrey to pull it away. After she put the picture behind the rest of them that were sitting on her lap, Remus sat back down in his chair, pouting.

The next picture wasn't any better, it almost looked like a bike, but it looked like a 2 year old had drawn it.

"HESHEY KISS!" Remus shouted, once more he hopped out of his seat, and was ready to jump at the picture, when Madame Pomfrey put it away.

"I really don't know why I bother anymore" Madame Pomfrey muttered, "It's probably because Albus said he would get me a hot tub… I still haven't gotten that, I have to talk to him about that." She still muttered to herself.

"And people think I'm crazy" Remus said shaking his head sadly, talking to himself, just as Madame Pomfrey had done moments earlier.

"Anyways, Remus, dear, what about this picture?" Madame Pomfrey said, returning to her normal sane self.

"It looks like a chocolate frog, but if you squint your eyes and tilt your head to the left, it looks like a chocolate chip pancake!" Remus said cheerfully.

Madame Pomfrey looked at Remus incredulously, and quickly turned the picture towards her, and looked at it for a couple of moments, before her eyes widened and she exclaimed "by Merlin it does!"

"Of course it does! You think I wouldn't tell you the truth?" Remus said in a hurt tone, making his eyes big, form tears in them.

"Remus you know your eye trick doesn't work on me." Madame Pomfrey replied blandly, "after the first time, I'm not going to fall trap to those eyes again." She said remembering the first session her and Remus had.

Flashback

"Please, Please, give me the chocolate." A very small and cute, first year Remus said, as his eyes got bigger, and tears started to well up in them.

"Oh! You're so cute!" Madame Pomfrey cooed, practically melting to goo, at the adorable sight. She quickly surrendered all the chocolate she had to the first year, and sent him on his way. It wasn't till he was out of site did she realize what she had done.

"Oh, Dear Sweet Merlin" she said rushing out of the hospital wing to find the small boy.

And by the time she found the boy it was to late. Let's just say Hogwarts will never be the same. Some the students that were 7th years at the time still have nightmares about it.

End Flashback

Madame Pomfrey shook her head at the trouble the young boy had caused at the time, that was a sugar high that will always be remembered, and not in a good way, even the Marauder's were scared of him for a while!

Meanwhile while Madame Pomfrey came back from her flashback Remus was having one of his own.

Flashback

"Here's your chocolate that you wanted hun" Mrs. Lupin said, as she handed a chocolate bar to her husband.

"Ah, there's nothing better than chocolate" Mr. Lupin said as he took a bit of the chocolate bar, but after getting a look from his wife he hastily added "except family of course" This seemed to placate, as she stopped glaring at him.

A one year old Remus looked at his father, to his mother, and back to his father, before he reached out to get the item his father was holding.

"No, no, chocolate is for grown-ups" Mr. Lupin said in a childish voice. He may have acted like the chocolate was for grown-ups but he really just wanted the chocolate for himself. After getting another look from his wife, that was clearly saying 'share', he reluctantly handed a piece of the chocolate bar to Remus.

Remus quickly reached for the sweet and stuck it in his mouth, and when he did, it was like he went it heaven.

The creamy sensation as the chocolate in his mouth melted, the sugar dancing on his taste buds, caused an epiphany happen.

And when that happened, that was the day Remus became obsessed with chocolate.

End Flashback

Remus smiled as he remembered his first encounter of chocolate, his smile got wider as he remembered all the types of chocolate he's tried since that time.

Madame Pomfrey was kind of worried when Remus started sighing in to space, with a dreamy smile on his face, but then she realized that he was probably having the flashback he told her about, time and time again.

As Remus stopped day dreaming, Madame Pomfrey decided it was best to continue with the session.

"Ok Remus, why don't you tell me about any dreams you've had recently?" She stated calmly.

"Ok this was the dream I had last night" Remus started, "I was sitting around a pool with Shannon, James, Kristin, Sirius, Nadia, and Peter, when suddenly we were all in an igloo that was covering the hot tub. We were writing on the walls when all of a sudden, Kristin pulled out a lighter. Now as you can imagine we were all pretty confused by this, and we were all like 'what the hell is going on' she merely said 'just w12ait', and when she flicked the lighter on instead of fire coming out it was chocolate! I was so happy; I stole the lighter and ate the chocolate. It was very good chocolate to.

"Anyways a little while later, we were in the pool and Nadia, pulled out an alarm clock, again we were all like 'what the hell?' anyway she set the alarm and a minute later instead of the clock ringing chocolate started pouring out of it! So I stole that to, and then everyone left and I was still hungry so I went inside a random house that was there, and went in the kitchen, I went over to the fridge and opened it! The only thing I saw in the fridge was Chocolate! There was chocolate bars, chocolate cake, chocolate ice cream, and chocolate milk! Everything was chocolate! And just as I was about to start eating the chocolate I woke up! I was so mad! I wanted chocolate! But it was ok since I ate the spare chocolate bar I was keep in the secret compartment in my trunk!" Remus told his story with enthusiasm.

Madame Pomfrey sighed knowing, that there was definitely no cure for Remus, she felt bad for the boy, he was so hooked, and at such a young age too, alas the good get obsessed young.

"That's nice dear" she replied not telling him what she was really thinking, then the alarm clock rang signaling that the time was up.

"Where's the chocolate!" Remus yelled, as he sprang up from his chair, and jumped for the clock.

"There's no chocolate in that clock dear" Madame Pomfrey sighed.

"Golly gee wilickers" Remus said disappointed.

"You can go now" she stated, "I don't want you to have any chocolate today, ok?"

"I'm going to say yes, but we really know that's not going to happen." Remus stated, before getting out of the chair, and walking out of the office.

"That poor boy" Madame Pomfrey sighed as she unwrapped the Hershey Kiss from earlier.

She was just about to put the chocolate in her mouth when Remus came speeding in the office yelling "MY CHOCOLATE!", the last thing Madame Pomfrey remembers from that day, is Remus running in and tackling her and getting the chocolate and running back out of the office, then she passed out.


	17. Chappy 17

AN: Hp and the Deathly Hallows was amazing! I finished it Monday! Anyways I've been like uber busy the last few weeks so sorry for not updating sooner! I know how it feels to wait so long for the next update! Anwyays i hope everyone enjoys! Oh and one more thing, the letter has which twin wrote the line before it, so I hope everyone has read this!

* * *

Then next couple of weeks passed uneventfully and it wasn't till three weeks before Halloween something interesting happened. Someone stole Dumbledore's Lemon drops! Well that happened to but what I'm talking about happened during breakfast, Harry got a letter, but not just from anyone! He got a letter from the Weasley twins! 

(Fred)Dearest Harry,

I don't care that you are supposedly in the past, (George)you're probably laying on some beach in some exotic island,(Fred)with a bunch of hot babes, (george)or dudes, (Fred)around you, (George)while you're bragging about all your accomplishments, (Fred)aw man Harry couldn't you have brought us! (george)Oh well the damage is done. (Fred) Anyways this package is for you, (George)it's part of the payment for helping us open our shop, (Fred) and now thanks to you we're helping kids wreck havoc, oh man I'm going to cry, I'm so proud, George is going to take over now. (George)Fred is over crying in a corner right now, he normally gets like that sometimes, it's actually pretty funny. Anyways it doesn't matter if you're in the past or in Alaska or even on the island with the hot people, (Fred)and if you are on the island with the hot people, TAKE SOME PICTURES! (George)This package should reach you because we're just that good! (Fred) Anyway we hope you like what's in it! (George)It's the Halloween costume we picked out for you! (Fred)We know you'll like it! (George) Not really but it's still nice to say it! (Fred) And you better wear it and take pictures because we want some! (George) So send back the Diricawl, the thing that brought the letter to you. (Fred) And have a good ol' time wherever you are!

Love (like a brother, and besides you don't need any more people after your ass) and havoc,  
George and Fred Weasley

Harry smiled as he looked up from the letter to his friends.

"Man these guys are loons, but they are the best loons I've ever meet!" Harry exclaimed before he ripped open the package, only to close it once he saw was in it. "I take it back they are complete perverts!"

Harry yelled as he whipped out the costume.

'Harry was right, those guys are obviously perverts but I love them for it!' Sirius thought as he drooled what Harry would look like in the costume.

"HARRY YOU ARE NOT WEARING THAT THING!" James yelled, still trying unsuccessfully to protect his son's innocence.

"…but you don't know them like I do! You don't understand the torture they'll put me through!" Harry yelled panicked.

Flashback

"Now, now, Harry why didn't you listen to us?" Fred said as he walked back and forth in the small room.

"Yes, now we're going to have to punish you." George added as he stared Harry straight in the eye.

"Would you like to hear what's on the agenda?" Fred asked sadistically. Harry eyes widened from where he was duck taped to a chair, he shook his head vigorously.

"Muahahahahahahahaaaaaaaa!" Fred and George laughed as they looked at the poor boy.

"Well first we're going to make you test our products, then we're going to leave the room, leaving a present behind, and then you'll listen to us for the rest of your life." George explained.

Harry felt miserable they had made him test five different products! It was absolutely insane! Now he knew why everyone was scared of them!

"Okay Harry now we're going to leave the room but we're leaving behind this chocolate bar!" Fred cackled insanely.

The two left the room and lets say Harry didn't last long he was in a room by himself, miserable and hungry from the evil duo making him test their products, and there was a creamy, unwrapped, chocolate bar almost arms reach from him, it was really to bad he couldn't move. The twins made sure of that.

After about two hours of sitting there and trying to get the chocolate bar through telekinesis (not that he actually believed in that stuff, but hey it was worth the try), the twins came sauntering in.

"Are you ready to do what we want Harry?" Fred asked.

Harry nodded his head vigorously; he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

End Flashback

Harry shuddered at the memory, he never wanted to go through that again. "I guess I'll have to wear it, if I don't they'll probably come back in time, torture me, and then make me wear it. That's what happened last time I didn't agree to do something they wanted me to do, I'm just glad to say it didn't happen to me as many times as it did to Ron." Harry said with a big grim on his face. "And you never know it might be really comfy!"

Everyone that knew what was in the box looked at the boy like he was insane, but Sirius just had a really goofy smile on his face that indicated that he was probably thinking of something to do with Harry, that costume, and a strip tease.

All while this was happening Remus was looking around the castle for a giant candy bar he hid when he was a kid, he really needed it now, Madame Pomfrey had been a bit mad at him when he tackled her and she hid all his chocolate, when Remus thought of this a small tear made it's way down his face. "I want my chocolate." Was the last thing that was heard out of him all day.

* * *

Diricrawl- A bird that can poof away, like a phoneix says so in Fantastic Beasts and Where to find them. 

_**REVEIW! REVIEW! REVEIW!**_


	18. Chappy 18

AN: Hey everyone sorry for teh little delay, I know it's been a long time (a long time being two weeks, which really isn't that long) but I've had a bit of writer's block but it's been fixed now! Enjoy!

Halloween came way to fast in Harry's opinion, and to think just a couple of weeks ago, he had been looking forward to Halloween. Harry really really really didn't want to go out in the outfit that Fred and George provided him with, but everyone else was looking forward to seeing the costume on him. Harry had thought about not wearing it, or even just wearing it for a couple of minutes, taking a couple of pictures and taking it off, but then he remembered the torture the two had put him through last time and decided to suffer through wearing the outfit for one night, he didn't even want to take a chance, oh how the might have fallen.

Halloween came way too slowly in Lucius' and Sirius' opinion, they had seen the outfit and they couldn't wait to see how delicious it would look on Harry. They had thought Harry had looked good as a school girl, but that school girl outfit would like a trash bag compared to the twins' creation. They constantly begged Harry to try it on whenever they saw him, which really sucked for Harry considering that he moved out the Slytherin dorm to the Room of Requirement, until that god forsaken day (for him maybe to Sirius and Lucius it was a godsend).

To James Halloween was coming and going rather slowly, he just wanted Halloween to come so he could get some candy, and he just wanted an excuse to feed Lily some candy, even though everyone except him knew that wasn't going to happen.

To Fred and George, let's just say they couldn't wait to get the pictures, thousands of ideas of what they could do with the pictures were flying through their heads. The both smiled evilly at the thought of blackmail, and their smiles got even wider as they thought of some recreational activities they could do with the pictures (also known as jerking off).

To Remus Halloween couldn't come quick enough, and that only had to do with one word, chocolate.

Yes Halloween was here and everyone was happy about it (well everyone except Harry).

"I'M NOT COMING OUT!" Harry yelled from inside the bathroom.

"Please Harry, do it for me!" Sirius pleaded.

"NO!" Harry shouted back, making Sirius pout, he really wanted to see Harry in the costume.

"Come on out Harry, we'll give you an Oreo." Lucius bribed, he didn't know what the hell an Oreo was, but Harry talked about it once and was practically drooling when doing so.

"YAY! OREO!" Harry shouted and immediately threw the bathroom door, and ran out of it.

Harry looked at Lucius and then to Sirius and back to Lucius before mumbling in a very depressing tone, that reminded the two boys of a kicked puppy, "no Oreo?" and then his eyes got really big and started to gleam with unshed tears.

But Sirius and Lucius were beyond caring, as they were to busy drooling at the sight of Harry in his outfit.

Harry was dressed as Little Bo Peep, except this costume was anything but the innocence Harry constantly oozed. This costume could only be defined by one word, revealing. Harry was wearing four inch heels, with fish net stockings that lead up to a pink checkered short skirt, stopping an inch or two above mid thigh (in other words, very short), with a design of a cute little black sheep on it, then after a brief show of skin, which revealed a fake belly button piercing (that George had thrown in the package), was a corset top that was black with pink lace up the center and the sides, and to finish the outfit, was a pink bonnet that went cutely over Harry's head.

And needless to say Sirius and Lucius were probably going to die of dehydration if they didn't stop drooling soon.

"I know you guys, I want Oreos to, but there's no need to drool over them." Harry said, once again being his oblivious self and not knowing they were drooling over him. "Well anyways we better get going to the Great Hall, I don't want to miss the feast, even though it'll be so embarrassing to go in this outfit."

Lucius and Sirius nodded dumbly as they followed Harry out of the bathroom, staring at his butt in the short skirt.

The closer they got to the Great Hall, the more crowded it became, and the more crowded it became more people would stare at Harry, and the more people that would stare at Harry the more jealous and possessive Sirius and Lucius became. And let's just say that a jealous and possessive Sirius and Lucius were a very funny Sirius and Lucius, and let's just say that most of the people that were staring quickly turned away, they did not want to be on the receiving end of either of the wizards' wands (hehehe). As soon as everyone turned away Dean mysteriously appeared from no where and pushed Lucius away from Harry and quickly took his spot except he wrapped an arm around the petite boy's waist.

And needless to say Lucius did not take this laying down, he quickly drew his wand, and said, "Thomas if you don't move I'll curse you so hard you'll want to gauge your eyes out with a spoon."

Dean not really caring at the moment, because he was next to and touching Harry, merely stuck his tongue out at Lucius before returning his full attention to Harry.

"Fine don't say I didn't warn you! Bumblebee haud induviae!(1)" Lucius yelled, and quickly closed his eyes.

Dean was looking at Lucius weirdly when he saw something appear in the corner of his eye, which made him turn around, making him make the biggest mistake of his life. When Dean turned around he saw a completely naked, saggy skinned and hairy Dumbledore, in all his wrinkled glory.

"AHHHH! MY EYES! THEY BLEED!" Dean shouted running around in a random direction, trying to claw his eyes out.

"Haha I told you." Lucius taunted, he was certainly glad the rest of the student body couldn't see what Dean was seeing, not only would they be puking their guts out but, but he really didn't want to get in trouble for releasing a naked Dumbledore on the world.

Lucius then went and joined Harry and Sirius at the Gryffindor table, because he wasn't going to let anyone else touch Harry, especially not some Half-blood twit like Thomas.

The rest of dinner passed rather uneventfully, except for the people that had to be sent to the hospital wing because Lucius and Sirius thought they were looking at Harry way too long, but then again they thought way too long was just looking at him. They really just wanted to throw the boy into a closet and molest him, but they couldn't do that they had to win him over fair and square, unfortunately that was taking a lot longer than either of the boys planned.

Oh well they were more than ready for a good challenge, after all the beautiful boy was more than worth it.

'I wonder what Lucius showed Dean to make him freak out like that' Remus wondered, 'OH NO WHAT IF HE SHOWED HIM A WORLD DEVOID OF ANY CHOCOLATE!' Remus panicked, but then calmed as he came to another conclusion, 'no it couldn't be that Dean would be in worse shape if that happened.' Remus smiled reassured, that Dean didn't see anything that would put him in therapy. But he didn't know how wrong he was. 'Oh look chocolate pudding!' Remus thought, all prior worry for Dean was lost as soon as he saw the chocolate.

(1) means Dumbledore, no clothers in latin.

anyways thanks for reading... REVEIW!


	19. Chappy 19

Back in the future  
"GET YOUR PORNIFUL ORGINAL HARRY POTTER PICTURES!" Fred shouted in the Great Hall the next morning. They had just received the pictures of Harry that morning, and with a smirk they decided to make a profit out the very…interesting pictures, hence the scream in the Great Hall.

"GET YOUR PICTURES! ONLY A COUPLE IN EXISTANCE!" as soon as the second scream rang through the air, about half the school ran over to the twins just begging to see the "porniful picture" as the twins stated.

"I'll give you 1000 galleons for all the pictures" a voice rang from the back of the crowd. People were soon being pushed a side by Crabbe and Goyle, soon the twins saw Draco Malfoy sauntering up to them, with a wide smirk on his pale face.

"SOLD TO THE FERRET AS SOON AS HE FORKS UP THE MONEY!" George shouted with a wide grin on his face thinking, 'we should make Harry do this more often!'

With Harry and the Maurders  
"Achoo!" Harry sneezed.

"You know they say when you sneeze, that means someone is talking about." Remus said smartly not looking up from his book.

"Well who wouldn't want to talk about Harry? He's too cute!" Sirius exclaimed, hugging the small boy to his chest tightly, making Harry blush wildly.

James coughed getting the two boys attention, he gave Sirius a look that clearly meant 'let go of my son', but Sirius being Sirius pretended he didn't see it and started to play with Harry's hair.

"Anyways it's probably just the twins coming up with some crazy plot about me… again" Harry sighed, knowing but not really liking the truth.

"I take it they do this a lot?" Remus questioned.

"Oh yeah, they're like Sirius and James, except if possible they get in even more trouble!" Harry exclaimed.

"WHAT?!?" Sirius and James both yelled in unison. "NO ONE GETS IN MORE TROUBLE THEN US!"

"You don't know Fred and George trust me they get in even more trouble than you guys!" Harry tried to explain.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT TO ME! I'M YOUR FATHER! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT! HOW CAN YOU EVER SAY SOMEONE GETS IN MORE TROUBLE THEN ME!" James yelled.

"Fine" Harry said, standing up, "I'll just go see Lucius and Severus" and with that Harry took his leave.

Sirius, being the idiot everyone knows and loves, was still mad at Harry, when he realized what the brunette said.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH LUCIUS MIGHT MAKE A MOVE ON HIM! NO!" He shouted before running out of the common room, leaving a room full of unfazed Gryffindors.

By the time Sirius found Harry, he was always with a Slytherin, but it wasn't the one he was thinking of.

"REGULUS! DON'T TOUCH MY HARRY!" Sirius yelled as he stormed into the now extremely silent (well more so than usual) library.

Harry and Regulus both looked up from the book they were looking at, just to see a bright red Sirius almost smoking from the ears.

"Hi, Sirius" Harry said.

"Harry what are you doing with this snake?" Sirius asked in a harsh voice.

"Oh you hurt me so, dear brother" Regulus answered in a snotty voice, "couldn't you at least say hello to your favorite sibling?"

"I wasn't talking to you" Sirius said rudely. "So what are you doing with him?"

"He's helping me with this potion, since according to Slughorn, I don't have my mother's talent for potions" Harry said, as he imitated his teacher.

"Well why didn't you ask Lily?" Sirius asked curiously, he figured Harry would want to spend time with his teenage mom.

"Because do you really want to deal with her when Prongs just finished begging her to go out with him?"

"No I definitely see your point… well why didn't you ask Remus? Hell you could've asked Snape and I wouldn't care but did you really need to ask my brother?" Sirius asked hysterically, "he's probably poisoning your mind to turn you against me and James!"

"Well Harry" Regulus interrupted "if you're going to keep talking to this fool, I'm going to go, I have other things I have to do"

"Oh ok! Well thanks for the help" Harry answered enthusiastically, as he waved bye as Regulus left.

But something Harry didn't notice but everyone else and Sirius did, was the large bulge that had formed in the front of Regulus' pants. Which made everyone in the library snicker (except Sirius because he was full out laughing and pointing). It was quiet obvious even though the poor boy was trying to hide it, and he was doing a bad job of hiding it too… you really aren't supposed to walk with your book bag in front of, it just draws more attention to yourself, but Regulus was learning that the hard way.

As soon as Sirius was done laughing he noticed the curious look Harry was giving. "Yes Harry?" he asked, still chuckling from his laugh attack.

"What was in the front of Regulus' pants?" Harry asked as he tilted his head to the side and making the hair the that didn't fit into the ponytail he was now sporting fall into his eyes making him look adorably and sexy. Now needless to say Sirius had his own bulge in his pants now, and it was going to be difficult to explain if Harry saw his 'problem', so what would Sirius do in a time like this? Lie of course.

"Well you see Harry, Regulus isn't a very good person and when he gets bad or naughty thoughts, he gets a bulge in his pants to warn people so they can be careful around them. or he might hurt him." Sirius explained. 'Well it's based off the truth' he thought.

"Oh" Harry said, as he went back to work.

'Ok now I just have to get rid of my problem without Harry knowing…. But I can't leave him here! What if some perverts try to molest him?!?' Sirius thought conveniently forgetting all the thoughts he had had about molesting Harry. 'Ok, um… a foursome between Filch, Dumbledore, Pomfrey, and McGonagall…. Eww! My brain! It's scarred! Ah!' Now needless to say Sirius wouldn't be having any problems for a while.

I just thought I would let everyone know that it might be a while before I write the next chappy, I'm getting my wisdom teeth out today, and school and swim team start back up again, but don't worry I'll update ASAP!


	20. Chappy 20 SMUT

VERY IMPORTANT! NEED TO READ THIS NOTE!!!! THIS STORY NEEDED SOME SMUT! IT'S NOT WHAT IT SEEMS SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT! I ASSURE U THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE LIKE THIS AS WELL! EXCEPT SIRIUS INSTEAD! THIS PAIRING IS NOT FINAL!

Somewhere 

Remus sighed sadly as he finished his Halloween chocolate. 'Oh man, now I have to wait until Christmas to get more free chocolate... well maybe I can trick Peter into give me his!'

"Oh Peter!" Remus yelled in a sing song voice as he skipped over to Peter.

Peter looked up suddenly fearing for his life as he heard Remus calling his name, he looked left and right in a panicked way, and just as he was about to bolt it was too late.

"Wormtail can I have your chocolate?" Remus asked using his cute puppy dog eyes.

"No I need my chocolate" Peter fought back.

"Give me or chocolate or you'll find yourself with a lot of bad luck…" Remus stated vaguely in a dangerous tone.

Peter gulped and nodded his head, he knew it was dangerous to mess with Remus, not many people could say they had seen the werewolf mad, but even fewer were around to tell about it.

"Potions, potions, I hate potions. The cauldrons burn me, and the concoctions smell, potions, potions I hate potions." Harry sang in a very out of pitch voice, while scrubbing himself in the shower that the Slytherin boys shared.

"POTTER! WILL YOU STOP SINGING THAT HORRENDOUS SONG!" Snape barked through the door.

"SORRY SEV! BUT I'M EXPRESSING MY TRUE FEELINGS" Harry called back.

"I'LL EXPRESS MY TRUE FEELINGS TOWARDS YOU, IF YOU DON'T STOP SINGING!" Severus yelled at Harry.

"POTIONS, POTIONS, I HATE POTIONS!" Harry shouted back even louder than before.

"Go talk to your boyfriend Lucius, before I rip his head off." Snape snapped (hehe).

This is smut, RATED M! SKIP OVER IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ IT!

"My pleasure." Lucius said as he stood up and glided over to the door, before opening it and stepping into the steamy room.

Lucius quickly stripped himself of his robes and other clothes, before turning around to look at his love, who still hadn't noticed him, and stared at the cute little bubble butt that his boyfriend possessed. His shaft hardened at the thought that his member was going to be thrusting in and out of the hole that was in between the cheeks of the said bubble butt.

Lucius quickly walked over to his love and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist, pushing his arousal against Harry's backside, and whispered "Hello love." As he began nibbling on Harry's neck.

"Hello sexy" Harry managed to moan out, Harry wasn't sure to thank or curse the gods that Lucius knew his neck was a very sensitive spot for him. After Lucius gave a rather hard, but still pleasing bite, Harry decided that he would definitely be thanking the gods.

"You're so sexy," Lucius whispered in a seducing tone, "I want to fuck you right here, up against this wall, in this shower." He continued, as he grinded his hips into Harry's backside, making Harry moan, loudly.

He spun Harry around and placed his lips on Harry's, Lucius tongue gently prodded Harry's mouth, asking for entrance, which was granted with out hesitation. Their tongues intertwined as the wrestled for dominance, although each boy knew who was going to win, but both enjoyed the little game. Lucius smirked slightly into the kiss as Harry gave up, and allowed Lucius full access to his mouth.

When the boys finally broke, both of them gasping for air, Harry smirked slightly as he said "As much as I want you to shag me, I have another idea." And with that Harry lowered himself to the floor, on to his knees.

Lucius looked down at Harry before his eyes widened as he realized what his boyfriend was about to do, and then moaned as the warm heat that was his boyfriend's mouth engulfed the head of his member.

Harry sucked the tip of his boyfriend's penis, as he looked up into the gray eyes that were staring at him with lust, before taking a little bit more into his mouth.

Lucius looked into the beautiful green eyes that his boyfriend possessed, no one else had those eyes, not even his mother had the same eyes, they looked very similar but they were different, and when the semi-innocent green eyes gazed up at him while the owner was sucking him off Lucius almost came right then and there, but he knew that more pleasure was sure to come if he waited and he was right, because right after he said that Harry took almost all of Lucius into his mouth, deep-throating him.

Harry knew he was doing something right as he heard Lucius moan loudly, and saw him throw his head back, eyes shut. Harry started moving his mouth up and down on his boyfriend's cock as he fondled his balls, once more making his boyfriend cry out with pleasure. Harry removed his mouth from his boyfriend's shaft, making Lucius moan at the loss of heat around his member, and started to lick a slow agonizing trail from the base of Lucius' cock to the head, where he once again gave a hard suck to the head, before taking in Lucius entirely.

Lucius knew he was almost finished as he once again looked down to see his boyfriend's head bobbing up and down on his shaft, and Harry's fingers working magic on his balls, but what really threw him over the edge was when Harry looked up at him. Lucius knew he would never be able to resist those eyes, and as Harry gazed up at Lucius and gave one final suck, Lucius saw white as he came in his boyfriend's mouth, which Harry drank all the white fluid up immediately.

After Lucius was fully recovered he saw something that he will never forget. Harry pushed up against the tiled wall, eyes closed tightly, moaning as he pressed a finger into his entrance, as the hot water poured down on Harry. "Lucius" Harry moaned, "take me now! I can't wait! I need you inside of me!"

Lucius walked over to Harry moving a like a zombie, drinking in every movement Harry made. But when he finally made it to Harry his vision started to fade.

When his vision started to work again, the first thing Lucius saw was Severus leaning over him telling him that he had to get ready for classes, and with that Lucius swore to make Severus' life a living hell.


	21. Chappy 21 SMUT AGAIN

Remus sighed as he finished the last of Peter's chocolate, he was very proud to find a new source, but one thing was disturbing him, why did Peter have all that chocolate? And why didn't the rat give him any?!? The more Remus thought about the more he wondered what other type of chocolaty wonder was the rat hiding.

'I'm going to figure out where you get your chocolate Peter, mark my words I will!' Remus vowed before running off to stalk, I mean observe Peter.

Lily sighed, after 6 years, 8 months, 3 weeks, 5 days, and 22 minutes, James had finally gotten her. It had been 6 years, 8 months, 3 weeks, 5 days, and 22 minutes since the first time James had asked her out, and just now had he gotten her to agree to go out with him… well she really didn't agree, he tricked her.

Flashback

"Hello Lily" James said, as he spun around in the big comfy spinney chair. Lily almost expected him to be petting a white fluffy cat, but much to her disappointment he wasn't.

"Potter" she replied tersely.

"WHY WON'T YOU GO OUT WITH ME!?!" James yelled as he broke down sobbing. "I'VE TRIED EVERYTHING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION! AND YOU STILL DON'T CARE IF THE GIANT SQUID ATE ME! WHY! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE YOUR HATRED?!?!" James continued crying, devastated that his one true love didn't love. No even like him back.

"There, there it's ok potter, I mean James, I'll go out with you. Just please don't cry." Lily pleaded, Lily couldn't stand men crying, it made her feel bad, and it made her feel even worse when she was the one that caused him to cry.

"YOU WILL THANKS LILS! YOU WON'T REGRET IT!" James yelled, stopping his fake crying.

"POTTER YOU TRICKED ME!" Lily raged.

"Haha to bad you already said you would! And you can't let me down!" James laughed, as he went to tell his best buddies the good news.

End Flashback

Lily sighed as she recalled what happened, and she was scared to say that if a guy was willing to go this extreme for her, then he couldn't be that bad of a guy. And that was what scared her.

Sirius sighed as he loosened his tie as he walked up the stairs to the dormitory, and he had started to undo the top buttons to his uniform when he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw his wildest fantasy lying on his bed. Naked.

"Hello Sirius" Harry said in a low seductive voice, almost purring.

Sirius' already hardened cock hardened even more, almost about ready to rip through his pants, which weren't doing a very good job hiding his arousal. 

"Why don't you get your sweet ass over here and we can… play" Harry said in that sweet, low seductive voice that was driving Sirius crazy.

Sirius walked over to the bed, slowly, taking in as much of the view as he could. As he was nearing Harry he noticed that Harry had his hands bound to the bed post with Sirius' school tie. 'Oh my god, Harry looks so shaggable in Gryffindor colors!' Sirius thought as he disposed himself of his shirt, revealing a firm chest and a washboard stomach.

Sirius watched as Harry's tongue licked his lips as he took in Sirius' muscled form.

Finally Sirius reached the bed and stopped to take in the breathe taking view that was presented for him on his bed. Harry was the most beautiful creature in the world according to Sirius, he was lithe, a little on the thin side, with pale skin that shone in the moonlight, his shoulder length black hair which had grown a bit longer in the time he was there, and now reached a bit passed the shoulders, was splayed out on the pillows, the brilliant green eyes, to his pert pink lips, Sirius loved everything about him. 

As Sirius look from Harry's face, he slowly started moving his gaze down the magnificent looking body. He started at Harry's face, to his neck (which Sirius had a lot of plans for), to his chest (more specifically his nipples), to the taunt stomach, before resting on the hard member that was nestled in a nest of dark black curls. Sirius felt his mouth go dry as he looked back at Harry's eyes, only to see that they were filled with lust. Sirius gulped seeing that look in the most gorgeous eyes was almost too much for him.

Sirius quickly leaned down and captured Harry's lips with his own, they moved fast and with passion, as Sirius' tongue swept over Harry's pink swollen lips, which opened to allow Sirius' invading tongue in. As that was happening Sirius ended up moving so he was straddling Harry, and his hands trailed down to Harry's nipples which Sirius started to play with. Both boys were in heaven, and they both knew that they would find an even better heaven within the heaven they were already in.

Harry gasped as Sirius broke the kiss and leaned down and took his nipples in his mouth and sucking them. He started to suck hard on the nipples as he played with Harry's cock, moving slowly and then speeding up his pumps before slowing down again, giving Harry a mind blowing hand job.

Sirius almost came as he heard Harry moan, "Oh… Sirius… faster" Sirius looked up at Harry to see the boy he loved head thrown back in ecstasy, eyes closed, mouth open, the whole nine yards. "Eh… Siri… stop playing… please… take me!" Harry moaned again, as his hands grasped the ties that were keeping him from touching Sirius.

Sirius quickly scrambled up and quickly removed his pants, revealing that he had not worn underwear that day… he wanted to feel free! Harry's eyes widened as he took in Sirius big, thick cock. He wondered if it would fit, but he figured he would leave it to Sirius to figure that out.

Sirius quickly prepared Harry, placing one finger in the virgin flesh that was Harry's ass, he looked for a reaction from Harry but it was just closing his eyes, so he wasn't in too much pain, he soon added another finger and saw Harry's nose get scrunched before he hit Harry's prostate, making Harry scream,

"SIRIUS!" Sirius soon started to finger and stretch Harry.

Sirius soon placed his member at Harry's hole and was about to start to push in when he felt himself falling.

Sirius eyes flew open as he hit the ground with a thud, looked around startled and released he was in the middle of charms class, sprawled out on the ground with a very obvious hard on.

He muttered one word "great", before letting his head hit the floor with a thud, and closing his eyes.


	22. Chappy 22

Author's note: I own nothing and if JKR is going to sue, well then she's going to have to sue a hell of a lot of people.

Hey guys sorry for taking so long, life has been... hectic. I know that's not an excuse, but I reall will try to update faster... well I hope you enjoy!

* * *

"So Lily… since you agreed to go out with me, how about we go to Hogsmeade this weekend?" James said as attempted a suave voice, as he leaned against a wall.

"If I really must Potter" Lily sighed, "you're lucky I'm a woman of my word, or else I would never go out with you." She continued before she walked away, leaving James to drool as he stared at her ass.

"And don't you dare look at my ass Potter!" Lily shouted without even turning around.

"Ah she knows me too well" James sighed dreamily as he stared off into space, while stroking his chin.

Elsewhere  
"Harry you're coming to Hogsmeade with me right?" Sirius asked as he carried Harry's books down the corridor even though Harry insisted he didn't.

"Sorry Sirius, I'm going with Lucius, but you can come if you want!" Harry stated as he said the last part enthusiastically.

Making Lucius who was walking on the other side of Harry stop and gap at the still walking pair.

"Sure I'll go with you guys, that is if you don't mind Harry?" Sirius asked timidly, even though he really wasn't, he just wanted Harry to think he was insecure so he could get more hugs.

"Of course I want you to come Siri! Don't you Lucius?" Harry said as he gave Sirius a tight hug, while shooting a glare at Lucius, telling him to say yes, even if he didn't mean it.

Lucius sighed but answered anyways, he didn't want his precious angel to get mad at him, "Sure you can come, Black."

"Yay! Thank you guys made my day!" Sirius yelled, as he gave Harry a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, which left Lucius steaming mad, which of course Sirius noticed and only smirked at the blonde.

'Damn him!' Lucius cursed inwardly, 'why couldn't my rival be like Pettigrew! Harry seems to hate him enough!'

Lucius had just finished thinking that thought as he saw Pettigrew trip in the hall and then Harry laugh as he discreetly put his wand in his pocket.

'That's my little Slytherin Prince', Lucius smirked, as Sirius went to go help Peter, he took Sirius' spot and put an arm around Harry and started to steer Harry down the corridor, leaving a fuming Gryffindor in his wake.

'Grr damn Slytherin!' Sirius thought as he let go of Peter, who he had been previously been helping stand up, which made Peter fall flat on his ass once again, to storm off after the "Damn Slytherin" the was previously mentioned.

The next few days passed uneventfully, and everyone was excited about Hogsmeade, but three people in particular were very excited, those people being James, Sirius, and Lucius. Now it was obvious why they were all excited, but for Sirius and Lucius there was a downside, they would have to share their 'date' that didn't know it was a date.

"C'mon Sirius and Lucius!" Harry hollered as he sped through the crowd, "I don't want to be the last one there!" he continued as he hopped into a carriage, with Sirius and Lucius trailing behind him, ignoring the fact that Harry could never be the last one there because no one else really care enough to have to be there before everyone else.

"Hurry up Lily!" James yelled running down the stairs practically dragging his date with him, "I don't want to be the last ones!" he yelled some more, pushing Sirius and Lucius out of the way to get in the carriage with Harry.

Lucius and Sirius shared a look that clearly said 'Well at least we know where he got it from', and then they got into the carriage.

Now a carriage with two marauders, a pissed off and angry Lily, a bouncy Harry, and Slytherin, there was only bound to be trouble, which there was….

"So Lily, where do you want to go first?" James attempted to ask, in his most suave voice, as he put his arm around her.

"Potter, get your arm off me or I'll castrate you" Lily growled.

"Hehe" James chuckled nervously as he removed his arm only to use his hands to cover his groin, he liked everything where it was, thank you very much.

"I'm so excited, I'm so excited!" Harry chanted, obviously what was going on in the rest of the carriage.

Lucius watched as Harry happily bounced up and down in his seat and decided that if Harry would definitely like impaling himself on his member, and that he certainly didn't mind Harry being bouncy at all, in fact he decided he rather liked it.

Sirius it seemed came to the same conclusion as Lucius as he was happily staring at Harry, with drool coming out of the corner of his mouth.

"Black stop staring at our son!" James said kidding, as he once again put his arm around Lily to emphasize the 'our'.

"Let go or remember what happens" Lily once again threatened making James squeak and guard his family jewels. "You stop staring to Malfoy" Lily commanded, "or I might feel obligated to remove yours too". Lucius turned paler (if that's even possible) at this statement knowing that this witch didn't make ideal threats.

"Huh? What's going on? Why is everyone so quiet?" Harry asked.

Everyone just sat there and gaped at him, wondering just how oblivious he was.

"What? I was looking at the clouds" Harry said in a timid voice, seeing the looks on everyone's faces.

"Harry, Harry, Harry, what am I going to do with you, you have tons of people after your ass, and you don't even notice" James said sadly at the lack of understanding from his son.

"Huh?" Harry said cutely, tilting his head to one side. Needless to say it made everyone in the carriage go 'aww'.

"HEY, WE'RE HERE! YAY!" Harry yelled as he jumped out of the not so completely stopped, but slowed down carriage.

* * *

Everyone came out the carriage slowly, except James who had jumped out with Harry, and even if they didn't show the same enthusiasm as Harry and James, but they were still happy to be there.

REVEIW! PLEASE! I'M BEGGING YOU! (I used to think it was annoying when people would beg for reviews but now I understand their pain)… so review… please, with Sirius and Lucius on top of Harry?


	23. Chappy 23

See I didn't take that long this time! Anywho there's another poll for anyone who wants to help this story tell me what they want! OK! ENJOY!

* * *

Harry being Harry took off into the crowd, and James was torn between running after his son and enjoying Hogsmeade with the child like pleasure or staying and waiting for Lily to come out of the carriage, in the end he decided to stay and wait for his date (although that would imply that the date was willing), besides Sirius and Lucius were already chasing Harry. 

"Are you ready my love?" James asked as he held out his arm to Lily, who responded with a…

"If you dare touch me Potter, I will castrate you."

"Oh you make me blush," James teased, "you always say it but you'll never do it, c'mon you know you like me."

Lily just glared at James before walking away, where James followed her into the Three Broomsticks.

In other places

"Hmm, which type of chocolate should I buy?" Remus pondered to himself, as he checked out all the chocolate that was in Honeydukes.

"I don't know just pick something." Peter responded, annoyed.

Who would've thought the fat rat would get bored in a candy store, but honestly they had been in there for 3 hours, how much time did Remus need to pick out chocolate.

"Hello, Remy-Poo" An elderly lady's voice called from behind Peter.

"Mrs. Honeyduke!" Remy-Poo exclaimed as he dashed toward the elderly woman and hugged her. "I missed you"

"I missed you too, deary" She replied as she returned the hug.

"I need help" Remus said. Remus saying that made everyone in the store think, 'yes, you need a lot of help.' "I can't pick which type of chocolate I want." Everyone, and I mean everyone, knew of Remus' chocolate obsession.

Mrs. Honeyduke sighed, this wasn't the first time Remus asked for help when it came to chocolate. "Well deary," she replied, "the chocolate frogs taste very good this month, I think they started to put more sugar in, I would recommend some of those." She said, but before she could finish Remus grabbed about twenty packs of chocolate frogs and stuffed them into his basket, along with his usual 5 pound bar, and the other things he normally gets.

"Ok this should last me another 2 weeks, thanks Mrs. Honeyduke!" Remus exclaimed, smiling brightly.

With Harry

"Omph" Harry sounded as he ran into someone, he had been running to the Three Broomsticks, when he ran into something, or someone.

"You ok there?" asked a voice from besides Harry as a hand was extended to him.

"Yes, I'm fine." He answered as he took the hand, he then looked at the owner of the said hand, and saw a very cute girl with reddish blonde hair, and freckles. "I'm Harry by the way."

"Shannon" Said the person now known as Shannon.

"HARRY! HARRY! THERE YOU ARE!" Sirius and Lucius both yelled, as they finally caught up to them.

"Geez, you don't have to scream, he's right here!" exclaimed Shannon.

"Who are you!??!" demanded Lucius.

"And were you trying to rape Harry?!?!" Sirius freaked.

"…Right… I'm kinda scared now so I'm just going to be on my way then, see ya Harry." Shannon said, as she walked in the direction of the Three Broomsticks.

"HEY HEY! YOU'RE GOING TO THE THREE BROOMSTICKS, RIGHT! YOU SHOULD COME WITH US!" Harry shouted he grabbed Shannon's wrist and started dragging her to the Three Broomsticks.

"Geez, what's with you people and yelling!" Shannon exclaimed, as she allowed herself to get dragged away by Harry she knew there was no stopping an uke (for anyone that doesn't know an uke is the male on the bottom in a gay relationship) on a mission.

Sirius and Lucius just followed being quiet, and watching for anyone that might want to rape their adorable little uke.

When the four of them finally arrived at the Three Broomsticks, it was crowded to say the least, but they somehow managed to find the people they were meeting. Or rather the people managed to find them.

"SHAN-CHAN!" shouted a girl with blonde curly hair, "WE FOUND YOU YAY!" the girl continued as she very enthusiastically hugged Shannon. "C'mon the table is over there! You're friends can come too!"

The girl led Harry, Sirius, Shannon, and Lucius to a small table that definitely wouldn't fit everybody.

"Ok, people I don't know this is everybody, and everybody these are the people I don't know!" The curly haired girl exclaimed quite proud of herself. Everyone looked at her like she was psycho, which she probably is, but she just kept grinning and bounced over to a brunette and sat on her lap, laughing.

"Yea… that's Courtney." Shannon explained, wondering why she had such an idiotic and hyper friend.

"Hey, I'm Joey" Said a smooth voice from the seat next to Courtney and the brunette. Everyone turned to look at the owner of a voice, only to see a sexy Mexican, with gorgeous brown eyes.

'The eyes that are checking out Harry!' was the simultaneous thought of Sirius and Lucius.

"Joey, no flirting with Harry." Shannon scolded. "Anyways, everyone this is Sirius, Lucius, and Harry" She continued, as she pointed to each one of them, "and Sirius, Lucius, Harry, meet everyone, the one Courtney is sitting on is Kristin, the sexy Mexican sitting next to them is Joey, the one with the stripes in her hair who's too busy reading right now is Becky."

"So Harry do you have a boyfriend?" Joey started.

"Yes!" Sirius answered very quickly, which earned a strange look from Harry.

"No I don't Sirius, what are you talking about?" Harry asked innocently.

"Oh that's good." Joey stated as he looked Harry up and down.

"No it's not" Lucius answered.

"I think it is, don't you Harry?" Joey asked in a seducing tone.

"Joey stop teasing." Shannon said, as she sat down on Joey's lap.

"Wait, wasn't he just hitting on Harry?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah, he tends to do that, he likes getting people mad." She explained.

"Oh" was the only response Sirius gave.

"But he wasn't pissing anyone off." Harry said oblivious to Lucius' silent fuming, and Sirius' rage.

"What are you talking about! You're Boyfriends are mad as hell!" Joey exclaimed.

"Huh but I don't have a boyfriend."

"What about the guys behind you, aren't you with them?" Joey asked.

"Huh? Sirius and Lucius? no I'm not with them." Harry answered.

"Oh so that means you're free?" Joey asked, seductively.

"Joey, don't even think about it." Shannon growled.

But before Joey had time to reply someone came running into the Three Broomsticks and yelled…

"CHOCOLATE!" Remus' voice rang out.

"Oh god, not again." Sirius groaned.

* * *

Now please review… also POLL TIME! 

Should Snape and Remus end up with someone? And if they should?


	24. Chappy 24

AN: I don't own anything, I wish I did... but I don't (tear)

* * *

"Do I even want to know?" Joey questioned, as the sexy werewolf ran in.

"CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE!" Remus voice got even louder as he ran inside the Three Broomsticks.

"Oh god, Peter let him get too much chocolate" James groaned. "We're all going to die."

"YAY! CHOCOLATE!" Courtney screamed.

"What the hell is going on?" Shannon asked, as her friend started doing a little boogie to her new chocolate song.

"Oh Peter, the idiot, he is let him get to much chocolate, Remus is kinda a chocoholic, and when he gets chocolate he gets kinda hyper." Sirius explained.

"Oh that's it? Courtney gets like that sometimes." Kristin told.

"What the fuck you talking about, Courtney's like that all the time." Becky added her two cents.

"I BELIEVE I CAN FLY!" Remus sang, as he jumped off the bar of the Three Broomsticks, and face planted into the ground, before jumping to his feet again and started singing again. "I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKY!"

"OK YOU FUCKING WANT TO FLY?!?!? WELL HERE YA GO! WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!" Becky shouted, pointing her wand (hehe) at Remus, and started to make him levitate around the room.

"Becky, put him down." Joey and Shannon said together.

"Aw but I don't wanna…" Becky pouted.

"Do it" Shannon growled.

"Hehe do it" Courtney chimed in.

Well as all this was happening Becky decided to let her concentration slip, and started listening as everyone started calling Courtney a pervert, and as Becky lost her concentration, she forgot she still had Remus floating around the room, but he wasn't really floating anymore since he kept getting thrown into the walls and the ceiling.

"Um… Becky…." Kristin interrupted.

"Yeah?" Becky asked as she turned to face Kristin.

"I think you forgot about something." Kristin said, as she pointed to Remus getting thrown once more into the ceiling.

"Oh Shit!" Becky cursed, as she finally let the sexy werewolf down.

"Hehe, fun" the sexy werewolf said, before he collapsed.

"Um… yea…" Shannon said awkwardly.

"Well Lily and I are going to get going, because we really don't want that to happen to us." James said, as he threw a couple galleons down (to pay for his and Lily's drinks), and grabbed Lily's hand and hurriedly left.

"Wow, that's the fastest I've seen white people run!" Joey exclaimed. (Just to let you people know, Joey is Mexican and it's something he would say, if you want to check him out his youtube user name is Blondewolf2, and just to let everyone know my friend made me keep that, and I'm white.)

"…HEY" almost everyone in the restaurant said, five seconds later.

"Hehe" Joey laughed nervously as he paid and left.

"Well this is turning out to be very interesting, first Harry runs into a complete stranger who he drags off, and then we meet some psychos who end up being the number one wizarding band Nittle Grasper (I don't own the band Nittle Grasper the creator of Gravitation does!)." Lucius chimed in.

"Huh?" Harry asked stupidly.

"Oh you didn't know Harry, yea everyone here is from Nittle Grasper, Kristin is the guitarist along with Joey, Courtney is the hyperactive drummer, Becky is the bassist, and Shannon is the lead singer with the voice of an angel." Sirius said.

"Oh" Harry replied stupidly.

"Yep, but we're on the down low, so far no one has noticed us except you guys." Becky interrupted.

"Anyways you guys, we better go and find Joey before he gets drunk or does something stupid." Shannon sighed.

"Ok see ya guys later" Harry yelled.

"Bye" everyone else said as they got up to leave.

"Sirius and Lucius when you finally have sex with Harry can you send me some pictures! Please!" Courtney and Kristin begged, making Sirius, Lucius, and Harry go silent with shock.

"…What's sex?" Harry asked, making everyone snap out of it.

"Perverts" Sirius and Lucius both muttered under their breathe as they said no.

"C'mon Courtney let's leave before you get us into trouble, I swear you cause just as much trouble as Joey!" Shannon said, as she dragged Courtney by her wrist out of the Three Broomsticks.

"Wow that was interesting…" Sirius said.

""Yea it was…" Lucius replied.

"…What's sex?" Harry asked.

"We'll tell you when you're older." Sirius said.

"But I'm old enough now, please tell me…" Harry said, as he turned on his puppy dog eyes full blast. The big teary eyes of Harry turned out to be the downfall of Sirius and Lucius, as they were slowly starting to give in to them.

"Ok, sex is um... when… two people." Sirius started.

"Sexual activity is associated with sexual intercourse; Sexual intercourse involves vaginal, anal, or oral penetration." Lucius stated.

"Oh… and what does all that mean?" Harry asked.

"We'll tell you when you're older." Sirius said once again.

"And no, we will not tell you, so don't even think about using the puppy dog eyes." Lucius continued.

"Fine be mean!" Harry said cutely, and started pouting.

"We will" Lucius stated, with a small smile on his face.

"Anyways what are we doing here? I mean we haven't even ordered anything yet, and we've been here for almost 2 chapters." Sirius said.

"We're getting Butterbeer of course!" Harry exclaimed happily.

"Oh" Sirius replied.

"Luci, will you please, please, please go get me some Butterbeer, pretty please with a chocolate from on top?" Harry asked, once again with big puppy dog eyes.

"Fine" Lucius said, before getting up he looked at Sirius, his eyes saying, 'try anything and I will seriously hurt you!'

Sirius pouted, knowing that Lucius really would hurt him if he tried anything.

Well since Harry and Sirius were still standing since they never got a chance to sit because of Nittle Grasper, they both sat down, but as soon as they did Harry jumped up.

"Eck! The seat is wet!"

"Oh" Sirius said, before getting a sudden idea, "why don't you come and sit on my lap?" he said, smirking at his own brilliance.

"Ok!" Harry answered happily, as he bounced over to Sirius and sat down on his lap.

"Here's your Butterbeer, Harry" Lucius stated, while glaring at Sirius.

"Thanks Luci!" Harry replied grinning happily. "Luci don't sit down over there, the seat is wet…"

"Then why don't I just get some napkins to wipe it up?"

"Oh… I didn't think of that…" Harry said.

"Well anyways, hurry up and finish your Butterbeer, we have things to do, places to visit, and people to see." Lucius said, he didn't want his Harry on Sirius' lap anymore than necessary.

"Ah man, I feel like I've been thrown into a couple of walls…." Remus said, as he finally stood up from his encounter with Becky, "Man, I'm in pain… hey look! There's chocolate!" Remus stated happily, as he skipped over to the free chocolate at the bar.

* * *

REVIEW EVERYONE AND TELL ME WHO DO YOU WANT SEV AND REMY TO BE WITH!

Anyways the latest chappy is up! I hope you all enjoy now the latest stats for the poll are:

Remus/ Sev- 10

Remus/ Mrs. Honeyduke- 1

Remus/Narcissa- 2

Remus/ Sirius- 1

Sev/ Luci- 3

Sev/ Bella-2

Foursome between HP/RL/LM/SB

ALL PRAISE SYLKIE! MY FIRST PIECE OF FAN ART! WHOOT! ALL PRAISE SYLKIE! I MUST SAY SYLKIE IS A WONDERFUL PERSON AND I LUV THEM! ANYWHO HERE'S THE LINKS! ALL CREDIT GOES TO SYLKIE THE WONDERFUL!

Black and white: http ://i248. pg

Color: http ://i248. REMOVE THE SPACES!


	25. Chappy 25

The poll is still on

RL/SS-21 RL/Mrs. Honeyduke: 1 RL/Bella: 1 RL/Narcissa: 3 RL/SB: 1 HP/ RL/SB: 1 SS/SB/RL/HP: 8 SS/LM: 5 SS/Bella: 2

Keep Voting!!!!!

* * *

"This is so much fun!" Harry cheered, as he skipped around Hogsmeade, ignoring the look the other patrons gave him.

'Yeah it is' Both Sirius and Lucius thought, as they watched Harry jump around, more specifically they watched the black haired boy's ass.

"FUN, FUN, FU- OMPH!" Harry exclaimed, as he ran into someone.

'Hehe pretty colors' Harry thought as he was looking at the sky, still on his back from when he had been knocked over.

"Hey there love, are you ok?" said a heavy Irish accent voice.

"Yes I'm ok, the colors are very pretty!" Harry stated cheerfully still a bit out of it.

"Is he normally like this?" The Irish accent voice asked.

"Not normally, only when he's hyper." Harry heard Sirius answer.

"Oh… do you think we should get him some help?" The Irish voice asked.

"Nah, he's gotten worse hits on the head before." Lucius replied.

"Whoa, I feel like a bludger hit my head…" Harry said as he finally sat up.

"Ah, he's finally up" Sirius said, as he rushed to Harry's side the others following closely.

"How are you feeling?" the accented voice asked.

"I'm ok, how are you? I'm sorry I ran into." Harry said before he looked at the owner of the voice, and when he did he was speechless.

Standing before him was gorgeous boy, he had several piercings on his ears and couple of necklaces hanging from his neck, he had a shock of white hair gathered on the top of his head, but it started fading to black the lower it got on his head, he was tall, but slightly smaller then Sirius and Lucius, and he was lightly muscled.

"No problem!" the gorgeous boy said, completely oblivious to Harry's staring, he might've been oblivious, but Sirius and Lucius were not, they were pissed.

'Grr stupid pretty boy, I'm going to feed him to Moony!' Sirius thought, as he watched Harry who was still speechless.

'…I hope that boy gets ran over by a Skrewt.' Lucius thought manically.

"Um… are you ok?" the pretty boy (as dubbed by Sirius) asked.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine… what's your name?" Harry asked curiously as he finally snapped out of it.

"The name's Patrick Finnegan!" the boy now known as Patrick said, as he grinned in a mischievous manner.

'Wow is that Seamus' dad?' (I know Seamus' dad is a muggle, but now he's a wizard, because I said so, and as the author of this fic I'm allowed to do so) Harry asked himself before saying, "I'm Harry Potter, and these are my friends Sirius Black and Lucius Malfoy" Harry introduced.

"Glad to meet you all!" Patrick said happily, as he shook everyone's hand.

"Yeah, you too…" Sirius and Lucius managed, with clenched jaws.

"So Patrick, do you want to join?" Harry asked, before Sirius and Lucius could object.

"Sure! I was here with two of my friends, but I think they left me to go snog in a corner." Patrick said even more happily, I mean who wouldn't be, a very cute, pretty, boy was asking you to join him on a trip to Hogsmeade, it was almost like a date, and the only draw back was the pretty boy's friends.

'Damn it, it was only supposed to be me and Harry!' Lucius and Sirius thought.

Patrick smiled as Harry grabbed hold of his hand, and started to drag him to the newly opened Zonko's Joke Shop, talking a mile a minute, leaving two seething purebloods behind.

"So Patrick, tell me about yourself…" Harry asked on the way to Zonko's.

"Well I'm a metamorphmagus, that's why my hair is so crazy, even though I'm obviously Irish…" Patrick trailed off.

"That's awesome! My friend Tonks is a metamorphmagus!" Harry exclaimed excitedly.

"That's awesome! I wish I could meet other people with this gift!" Patrick said.

"I wish I could change my looks!" Harry said, thinking that he could hide his scar so he wouldn't be as recognizable.

"Why? You're already so adorably pretty!" Patrick exclaimed, making Harry blush.

"Hehe thanks" Harry muttered embarrassed.

But neither of the boys noticed two fuming purebloods following them around, both with similar thoughts in their head about how they were going to kill a certain metamorphmagus.

"So, what about you Harry?" Patrick asked.

"Um… I'm from the future, because someone purposely threw a potion on me, and I ended up here, and met my parents…" Harry said.

"Ha-ha! You're not only beautiful, but funny as well." Patrick laughed. Harry didn't say anything; he was too hung up on Patrick saying he was beautiful.

"Grr" Sirius growled, as he hurried in between the two, to stop their flirting.

"Yay, Zonko's!" Harry Shouted as he ran inside the shop.

Patrick was about to follow when he was suddenly slammed up against a wall, with two wands with glowing tips were shoved in his face.

"Leave Harry alone." Lucius said, dangerously.

"Yeah or you might find yourself dead in an alley." Sirius growled.

"Hehe" Patrick chuckled nervously, "You guys are such jokers."

"You think we're kidding do you? Well if you keep this up you're going to see just how serious (AN: no pun intended) we are." Lucius replied coldly.

"PATRICK!" Harry yelled, as he came running out of Zonko's, "are you coming (AN: pun intended)?" Harry asked cutely, pleading with Patrick to come with him.

"Yeah, I'm coming; I was just having a chat with Sirius and Lucius." Patrick answered.

"Ok c'mon you guys!" Harry said, as he grabbed Sirius' and Lucius' hand and dragged them into Zonko's, knowing Patrick would follow.

After the foursome bought a couple of prank items from Zonko's they headed towards the carriages that would bring them back to Hogwarts.

"Well I guess I'll see you another time Patrick." Harry said sadly, knowing that Patrick didn't attend Hogwarts, because who could miss that sexiness?

"Yeah, I guess, but we can keep in touch, I'll send you an owl." Patrick replied.

"OK!" Harry answered happily.

"Well we got to go" Sirius said, trying to break up Harry and Patrick's little moment.

"Yes, indeed." Lucius responded.

"Oh ok, bye Patrick" Harry said, as he stood up on his tip toes to give Patrick a hug.

"Bye Harry." Patrick said, as he hugged Harry closer to him, "bye Sirius, Lucius." He added as an after thought.

Finally Harry and Patrick separated, and Harry climbed into the carriage, with Sirius and Lucius following closely behind, they didn't want Patrick to look at 'their' Harry's ass.

Harry looked out the window, waving to Patrick as he moved farther away from the gorgeous boy.

* * *

VOTE AND REVEIW!!! Please!


	26. Chappy 26

(I don't own Harry Potter or the song I wanna Sex you up (which is a very awesome song) by: LFO! I also don't own Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang)

In the kitchens  
"So, you'll put this in Potter's drink, and I won't tell anybody I caught you sleeping on job." A low voice informed a house elf.

"Yes, please don't tell, Twinky is a good boy." The elf stuttered, nervously.

"Don't worry me won't say anything…." The figure said, as it slinked out of the room. As soon as the figure left the room, and the portrait was closed, it pulled off the hood to reveal Frank Flint (look at Chapter 3 to find out who Frank Flint is). "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! JAMES POTTER WILL RUE THE DAY HE MESSED WITH ME! FRANKLIN F. FLINT!" he laughed evilly.

"I wonder which Potter is Twinky give the potion too." The elf mumbled to himself, "oh well Twinky just guess."

The next day  
"Ah" A very cute and tired Harry Potter yawned, gazing sleepily at Lucius.

'So cute!' Lucius' inner self screamed.

Snape, being Snape, looked at his friend, knowing exactly what he was thinking, and gave him a disapproving look, that clearly stated, 'not very Slytherin'.

"I feel like something bad is going to happen today." Harry stated, as he rubbed his eyes, once again looking adorable.

The Trio walked into the Great Hall and took a seat at the Slytherin table, and waited for the food and drinks to appear on the table, and when the food did appear Harry's drink was already poured in his glass much to his confusion.

'Oh well, it just Pumpkin juice!' He thought, as he took a sip.

"Mmm, this is good!" Harry said as he hurriedly drank down the rest of his juice.

Down at the other end of the table Frank Flint was seething, "damn elf gave the wrong Potter the potion!" he mumbled quietly.

"Severus I need you to help me with this Potions assignment, what in Merlin is a mutton dagger?" Lucius asked.

"A mutton dagger is a device that helps shred certain roots better." Severus answered.

"That may be but it sounds like a pet name for a certain part of the male anatomy." Harry said, shocking everyone that heard.

"GAH IT WON'T FIT!" Lily yelled, as she tried to stuff a giant tome in her book bag.

"HAHA! THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!" He yelled in reply, this time shocking the whole Great Hall.

"Wait Harry's gay?" Pettigrew asked.

"Of course he's gay! Are you an idiot?" Lily exclaimed.

"What guy wouldn't want to be gay, having a hard thick cock shoved up your" was all Harry said, before Lucius covered his mouth.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY SON!" James started yelling, as he ran around in circles.

"I have reason to believe young Mr. Potter has been introduced to a pervert potion." Professor Slughorn said. "The effects aren't permanent, but there's no cure and the potion takes about 24 hours to wear off." He concluded.

"I wanna sex you up! Ugh!" Harry started singing sexily, as he climbed on the table and started dancing sensually. Lucius, Sirius, and Dean all felt their mouths go dry as Harry continued the song, "I know the way you like it!" this time Harry bent and caressed Lucius' cheek, before winking, "I wanna sex you up, that's right let's get it on tonight!" With that line Harry did a little hip thrust, which sent Dean, Lucius, Sirius, and some other boys in Hogwarts into a drooling fit.

"Harry, my boy, please get off the table." Dumbledore said, with sparkling eyes.

"If I must." Harry said, as he got off the table and sat right down… into Severus' lap, straddling him.

"Potter, get off me." Snape commanded, trying unsuccessfully to hold back a blush.

"You and me baby ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel." Harry sang, once again.

'Damn lucky bastard!' Dean scowled.

'I'm going to kill him!' Sirius thought.

'Wow Harry looks sexy today… wait he should be in my lap!' Lucius thought, he was always a bit slow in the mornings.

The bell for classes then rang so Harry slowly climbed out of Snape's lap, and started walking to the doors, swaying his hips, but before he went through the doors, he turned around and winked.

Harry headed for potions class leaving the rest of the school shocked.

"I believe it is time for class" Dumbledore called out, eyes still twinkling, making everyone finally snap out of it.

"Poor Harry." Lily said, forgetting she made him cross dress.

"Yeah, I feel really bad for him" lily's anonymous friend replied.

"I, for one think this Harry is drop dead sexy!" Dean exclaimed.

"What did you say about my son!?!?" Lily screamed, enraged.

"AHHHH!" Dean yelled, as he took down the halls, with a seething red head after him.

"Ah my precious flower, so delicate." James sighed dreamily.

"Precious my arse" Sirius muttered, but started walking faster not only to get out of James' grasp, but so maybe he could flirt with this new Harry.

'Ah there he is' Sirius thought, as he walked up to Harry.

"Hey there, sexy" Harry greeted.

"Hello beautiful" Sirius replied, grinning broadly.

"So you're going to sit next to me right, maybe we can hide our hands under the table, and do things (a.k.a. feeling each other up)." Harry said seductively, moving up close to Sirius, and playing with his hair, his body fully pressed against Sirius'.

"Of course, I can't leave someone as beautiful as yourself alone; someone might try to steal you away." Sirius flirted.

"Well c'mon you kids, get into class." Professor Slughorn said, as he unlocked the door.

Well Harry and Sirius did sit together, but someone ruined his plan, that someone being Lucius Malfoy, who sat on the other side of Harry.

"Lucius, what do I do here?" Harry asked, biting his lower lip.

'Oh god I want to kiss him so badly.' Lucius thought, "Well you put the broomslang in stir counterclockwise 20 times." He instructed.

"Thanks Lucius," Harry replied, "maybe we can play Professor and student later in the dorm!" Harry winked.

'Oh Professor, please punish me!' Harry moaned in Lucius' mind, making him drool.

"Potter, stop being a pervert, I know you can't help it, but please try to refrain from mentioning it in my class." Slughorn reprimanded.

"Oh you mean like this?" Harry asked, as he climbed out of his sit and sat down on Sirius's lap, and started to grind against an extremely happy Gryffindor.

He started making noises as he pushed their lower regions together, and he happily kept grinding against Sirius, much to the displeasure of a few Gryffindors (a.k.a James, Dean, and Lily) and a Slytherin.

"I would say this is a bit too extreme but considering how innocent Potter is, and the more innocent people are, the more they are affected, but I didn't even know it could be this bad." Slughorn muttered to himself, before barking "Potter get back to work!"

A couple hours later  
"Ok, today everyone we'll be transforming your desks into pigs, and back, now can anyone tell me the spell?" Professor McGonagall asked.

Harry raised his hand, and McGonagall responded, "Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt" Harry sang as he slowly started peeling off his robe, and shirt. "I'm too sexy for my pants, too sexy for my pants" he continued (while changing the words), while he started unbuttoning his pants, revealing that he was wearing green cotton briefs.

"Harry raised his hand, and McGonagall responded, "Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt" Harry sang as he slowly started peeling off his robe, and shirt. "I'm too sexy for my pants, too sexy for my pants" he continued (while changing the words), while he started unbuttoning his pants.

"Wahoo! Take it off!" Dean cheered.

"Mr. Thomas!" McGonagall cried, outraged, "that's detention of a week."

"I don't care, as long as Harry takes off his pants!" Dean replied, now drooling over the pantless Harry, who was grinding against a support beam in the wall.

"Does anyone have a galleon?" a random person cried, from the back of the class.

"Now hold on!" Professor McGonagall said, but she was ignored as everyone started placing galleons down Harry's briefs.

"Mr. Potter put your clothes back on!"

"But Professor," Harry whined, "I feel so much freer!" (Freer is actually a word.)

'I wonder if I started stripping if people would give me chocolate…' Remus wondered, 'might as well find out.'

Remus started stripping and grinding up against Harry.

"MR. LUPIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!" McGonagall called.

"…I just want chocolate…." He said with teary eyes, "will you give me some chocolate?" he asked with puppy dog eyes.

"If you put your clothes back on…" she sighed.

"Yay!" Remus cheered, and put his clothes on the fastest anyone had ever seen. "My chocolate please." He said, holding out his hands.

"Fine" she sighed and gave Remus her only bar of chocolate, ignoring all the cat calls as Harry started to grind against Lucius. 'What in Merlin's name have I done to deserve this?' she asked herself.

REVEIW! REVEIW! REVEIW! PLEASE I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE!


	27. Chappy 27

"Wow this year is going by so fast

"Wow this year is going by so fast!" Harry exclaimed, as he, Sirius, and Lucius were walking down to where Professor Kettleburn was standing for their Care of Magical Creatures class.

"Yeah I know it's almost time for Christmas break!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Yeah, I'm glad you and James are staying here too, so I won't be all by myself!" Harry exclaimed.

"Well we wouldn't want you to be by yourself, you might get taken advantage of!" Sirius replied.

'Oh please, it's not like you aren't planning that Black, I just wish I was going to be here to stop you!' Lucius thought.

"Huh? What do you mean by that… never mind, I just wish Lucius could stay with us."

"Yea it's too bad he can't" Sirius said, sarcastically.

'Ha-ha, he wants me here, with him Black!' Lucius once again thought.

"Well since apparently the Skrewts were a bad idea for all of us, I've decided to cut that part short and we'll be working with Hippogriffs! Yay!" the Professor cheered enthusiastically, not that anyone was paying attention….

"Ok class, listen or you'll get hurt, first you slowly walk up to a Hippogriff and maintain eye contact, they really don't like when people blink too much, then you bow, to show respect, if they don't bow back, don't panic, just walk away slowly, but if they do, your safe to go and pet them, and don't insult them!" Professor Kettleburn informed. "Now who wants to try?"

"I will!"

"Excellent, come forward Harry!" the professor smiled.

Harry stepped forward and maintained eye contact, he wasn't scared, Hagrid had made them do this in his third year, now he's in seventh and the teacher is just teaching them, well let's just say that both Harry and Dean were confident in their abilities. Then Harry bowed after about 30 seconds of not blinking, the Hippogriff bowed soon after.

But when Harry bowed, let's just say people were thinking about other things than the hippogriffs…

'I knew Harry had a beautiful ass, but this is insane, when we're finally together, we're definitely going to have to try doggy style' Sirius thought.

'Hehe Harry… has… a very… nice ass.' Were the scrambled thoughts of Dean.

'I can't wait to ram into that tight ass' Lucius thought while smirking.

"Yay! Now go up to him and pet him!" exclaimed the professor.

Harry did as he was told, and walked up to the Hippogriff and started to pet him.

"Now who else wants to try?" the professor asked, while Harry was still petting one of the Hippogriffs.

"I will" Dean answered hoping maybe to impress Harry.

"Ok, step right on up, and just follow what Harry did."

Dean followed the instructions, but no one was thinking about what a nice ass he had, since they were to busy staring at what was written on the back of the cloak, there was an arrow, pointing down, with the writing 'Insert here'. Dean was bending over, not knowing everyone was quietly snickering at him, as Sirius and James high-fived each other.

The Hippogriff bowed quickly and the teacher said, "Wow, good job Dean, I think he might let you ride him!"

"I think it's supposed to be the other way around Professor!" Sirius shouted.

"Huh? Oh well kids are crazy these days" he replied, "Well Dean up you go" he said as he levitated Dean onto the Hippogriffs back, before giving the Hippogriff a quick slap to it's hind quarters.

"AHHHHHH!" Dean shouted, as the Hippogriff rose quickly into the air hoping to avoid getting another slap to its rear.

Back on the ground the teacher was thinking 'man how come that couldn't be Harry's ass?'

Back with Dean

'Well this really isn't so bad!' Dean thought, as he stopped gripping the Hippogriff for dear life, which turned out to be a very big mistake.

As soon as the Hippogriff felt Dean stop holding on, he made a sharp turn that had Dean flying off him, into the lake.

"AHHHHHHH I'M MELTING!" Dean yelled.

And indeed he was melting, it looked very painful, yet very comical to Sirius (who was laughing his ass off), and Lucius (who was smirking very broadly).

All of a sudden Dean wasn't in the lake anymore; in fact he wasn't anywhere that could be seen.

"Where did he go?" the teacher asked.

"Pft… like I care" Lucius said.

"Hey, look I think I see some robes!" yelled Frank Flint.

And indeed there was one set of Gryffindor robes floating on top of the water…

Back to the future  
"Good golly gosh, I miss Dean" Seamus said.

"For Merlin's sake!" Ron started, "we've heard you a thousand times!"

All of a sudden there was a flash of rainbow light and a very naked Dean was sitting on top of Seamus' lap.

"YAY YOU'RE BACK!" Seamus cheered, hugging Dean. "I DON'T EVEN CARE THAT THIS IS EXTREMELY AWKWARD THAT I'M HUGGING YOU AND YOU'RE NAKED!"

"AHHHHHHH! I'M NAKEY!" Dean yelled, as he got up from the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, and ran out into the entrance hall, ignoring all the cat calls he got from the other tables.

"Dean is back! Dean is back! Dean is back!" Seamus sung with new found happiness.

"Yes we know, now if Harry would just come back as well." Hermione replied smartly.

"Yeah, but I don't think he wants to, I mean he has Sexy Sirius and Luscious Lucius after him." Seamus retorted.

"What the hell?" The twins chimed in.

"Yeah when I was there, the two of them were like on top of him, humping him, the whole time, he didn't even notice."

"Oh man so we can't have him?" George asked.

"Oh so I'm not enough for you!?" Fred exclaimed with fake hurt.

"No you are baby, I just thought Harry would be fun to… play with!"

"Oh man! I want to watch!" Lavender exclaimed.

"Me too!" chimed in Colin, making everyone look at him, "what? Didn't anyone realize why I took all those pictures of Harry?"

"Right…" everyone replied.

* * *

REVEIW DANMIT! ...please

Anyways sorry for teh long wait guys!! My computer's harddrive crashed and i lost everything! This chappy would've been up like 2 weeks ago if it wasn't for that!!

Anyways on a better note it's going to take me a while to reply to teh reveiws, cuz i'm going on vacation tomorrow!! But I will reply!!


	28. Chappy 28

"CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS

"CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS, CHRISTMAS!" Sirius sang, jumping up and down on his bed.

"I want chocolate!" Remus exclaimed, happily, knowing that just about everyone got him chocolate.

"Maybe I got the new broom I wanted!" James said, excitedly.

"Uh what's all the noise?" Harry asked, as he gave a little cat stretch and yawn, revealing a creamy stomach to Sirius.

"gah bul blah" Sirius said, his thought process going dead as the stomach was revealed.

"Sirius, are you ok?" James asked, before muttering, "Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to let Harry sleep in our dorm, Sirius might try to rape him."

"CHOCOLATE!!" Remus yelled from the common room, having already opened all of his presents, all of them being chocolate.

"Let's go open presents!" Peter squeaked.

"OK!" Sirius jumped up from his bed, which Harry also slept in (which made Sirius extremely happy and James a little worried).

They all ran down into the common room, eager to open their presents, when they saw Remus surrounded by empty chocolate frog boxes.

"Well we'll have to stay away from him later" Sirius said, knowing how Remus got a on a sugar high.

"I just hope we won't have to call Madame Pomfrey like we did last year." James muttered, with a shudder.

Flashback

"YAY, CHOCOLATE!" Remus yelled, as he crammed piece after piece of chocolate into his mouth. Everyone knew to get him chocolate now because last year a kid, gave him a book, and let's just say the kid is still recovering, but the healers said he might be out of St. Mungo's in a couple of years.

"James, do you think we should stop him?" Peter questioned timidly.

"No, what are you crazy?! I don't feel like getting my hand chomped off, thanks, but you can try if you want!"

"I'M NOT GOING TO TRY!" Peter yelled.

"Ok, then let's just leave him…" James said, as he started to head to the exit of the common room.

"MUAHAHAHA!" Remus cackled evilly, as he shoved yet another chocolate frog in his mouth, making James and Peter flinch.

End Flashback

"Ok I say Harry opens the first present" James said, handing Harry his present which he had gotten at Hogsmeade.

"Yay!" Harry cheered, as he grabbed the present and ripped the paper off.

"What did he get you?" Peter questioned.

"This!" Harry said, holding up a book that was labeled 'Sex Ed for Dummies" (I don't own any of the 'for Dummies' books). "Now I get to find out what sex is!" he exclaimed happily, as he quickly opened the book.

"Um… Harry why don't you wait till later to read that?" Sirius questioned, nervously not wanting Harry to figure anything out especially when he was right there.

"Ok!"

Anyways the boys all took turns opening each others presents, and having a good time, just enjoying each others company.

"Well let's go get some breakfast!" Peter exclaimed.

"Food!" James exclaimed, jumping up and running out of the portrait hole, with Peter running after him.

Harry and Sirius exchanged a look, before getting up and moving through the portrait hole together, unfortunately for Harry, and luckily for Sirius, Peeve's was standing right outside the entrance of the portrait… with mistletoe.

"Ha-ha ickle Gryffies have to kissy!" Peeve's cheered.

"All right!" cheered Sirius, before grabbing Harry and pulling him into a lip lock.

"Sirius Orion Black! What are you doing to my son?!" James raged.

"Kissing him" Sirius answered pulling away, "it was magical mistletoe, and we would've been cursed if we hadn't!"

"Sirius, we both know that's not true." James sighed.

"It is true!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not! We both know you just wanted an excuse to kiss Harry!"

"SO?!"

Both boys turned to look at Harry, both realizing that he was probably listening to the whole thing, only to find that he and Remus were gone.

"Well let's go down to breakfast!" Sirius exclaimed happily, before offering his arm to James, who took it, and then both boys skipped merrily down the hall, arm in arm.

"Hehe blackmail!" exclaimed Harry and Remus happily, as they stepped out from behind a statue, giving each other a high five.

Unfortunately for the boys (or fortunately for the fan girls (like myself)), Peeves' decided to play another trick on the boys. Harry and Remus took another step from behind the statue, only to trip, and land on each other, lips pressed together, eyes wide, and shoe laces tied… together… that damn Peeves (I love him).

Both boys broke a part, blushing heavily.

"This never happened." Remus said.

"What happened?" Harry asked, playing stupid.

"Exactly"

"No seriously, what happened?" at least Remus thought he was playing, but apparently not.

"Never mind, let's just go get some breakfast." Remus sighed, as he dragged Harry down to the Great Hall.

The Great Hall looked better than ever with the ceiling creating fake snow, and sickles hanging down it was a site to behold, but unfortunately it was wasted as most of the students were too busy being little pigs to notice….

Peter, Sirius, and James were the ones pigging out the most, when Remus and Harry walked in.

"Hey guys, what have you been doing?" Sirius asked, momentarily stopped eating, before quickly making up for the precious seconds he lost talking.

Remus blushed, while Harry smiled happily, not having a care in the world.

Harry and Remus both took their respective seats, before they to started acting like pigs, hey, if you can't beat 'em join 'em.

"Happy Christmas to all students joining us today," Dumbledore started, as he addressed about 15 students, "Certain students have been complaining about how boring it is here over the holidays," he continued as he looked in Sirius' and James' direction, both grinning broadly to one another, "so I decided to liven things up a bit by, throwing everyone a little surprise." He said mysteriously before sitting back down.

Author's Note: REVEIW!!

ALSO HAPPY B-DAY TO ANIMEGURL088


	29. Chappy 29

"It's new years, it's new years!" Sirius cheered.

"Yeah, but there isn't as much chocolate" Remus pouted.

"Cheer up Remy, I think good old Dumbles will give us our surprise tonight" James exclaimed excitedly, yammering on about what the surprise might be.

"Maybe it will be a truck load of chocolate!" (I don't need to write who said that)

"Maybe it's Nittle Grasper coming to play for us and Patrick coming with them, so he can come here and visit!" Harry exclaimed.

His statement was rewarded with baffled looks.

"What? It could happen!"

"Right, anyways I hope it's a whole bunch of hot chicks." Peter said.

"Yeah but it's not like they would touch you anyways" Sirius retorted.

Yeah anyways let's get to the Great Hall, we have some New Year's Dinner for us to eat!" James yelled, as he skipped out the portrait, yes he skipped.

Vaguely the other boys heard the Fat Lady say, "that boy is getting more girly everyday, next thing you know he's going to start giving out flowers", which gave the boys a good laugh, before they followed their newly deemed, girly friend.

As they walked into the Great Hall everything was the same, they were confused, they wanted their surprise damn it!

"Hello boys!" Dumbledore greeted, happily. His greeting met by two glares, one squeak, one request for chocolate, and a hello, Harry being the only normally one for once.

"Where's our surprise!" demanded James.

"James my boy, calm down, the surprise comes later at our… NEW YEAR PARTY! YAY!" Dumbledore cheered for his brilliant idea.

"Yay!" Harry started to cheer with Dumbledore, making everyone believe they both were insane, which they probably are….

"Ok everyone, seeing as it is now 5 o'clock, the party will begin at 9, so make sure you all eat your fill, and there will be more treats at the party, that is all." He said before sitting down again, "one more thing the headmaster announced, standing up once more "Fwooper, nigwigit, and doorknobs." He finished before finally sitting down for good.

Everyone just looked at each other and shrugged; they were used to their crazy headmaster anyways.

With great anticipation everyone was waiting for the Great Hall doors to open, it was 8:45 and everyone wanted to know the surprise Dumbledore had, everyone saying their own theories, and each one was crazier than the next.

"I'm telling you all, it's Nittle Grasper coming with Patrick!" Harry tried again, only to have everyone look at him weird again.

"No he set up a strip club for us!" an extremely perverted Hufflepuff spoke up.

There was an awkward silence before Harry said, "And you guys think my idea is weird, at least I have proof about what it is."

"What do you mean by proof?" asked another random student.

"I checked in Hogwarts a History, it updates itself, so tonight before I came here I checked, and it said there was a concert, what other concert would Dumbledore set up for a bunch of teenagers, besides the most popular wizarding band of the time!" Harry answered.

"…he can figure that out, but he can't figure he turned half of Hogwarts gay?" whispered the perverted Hufflepuff (who we shall call Paul) to another student.

"Who turned half of Hogwarts gay?" Harry asked, only to be met by dead silence.

"Welcome students; are you ready for your… surprise?" Dumbledore asked creepily.

Everyone was a little freaked out by Dumbledore, (except Sirius and James because they spent the most time in his office) but most people nodded anyways.

Dumbledore opened the Great Hall doors, and loud rock music came bursting through.

"Ha! I told you all!" Harry screamed as he ran inside and jumped on Patrick, hugging him.

"MINE!" Sirius screamed, as he yanked Harry off Patrick, and held him in a possessive grip.

"Um right…" Patrick said, 'I hate dealing with jealous boyfriends' he thought.

"Hello Hogwarts!" Shannon yelled into the microphone, Nittle Grasper had just finished their first song.

"Hi Shannon!" Harry yelled back, waving enthusiastically.

"AH HE'S SO CUTE!" Joey yelled.

"NO TOUCHY!" Sirius yelled, as Joey made a move to get off stage to hug Harry, making Joey pout and look depressed.

"WE'RE NITTLE GRASPER, and Patrick, Becky's cousin, AND WE'RE GOING TO GIVE YOU A SHOW TONIGHT!" Shannon yelled once again.

"SEE I TOLD YOU, HE WAS SETTING UP A STRIP SHOW!" screamed the perverted Hufflepuff.

"NOT LIKE THAT!" Joey yelled, "BUT I WOULDN'T MIND!" he continued looking Shannon up and down.

Shannon rolled her eyes and motioned for the band to start, before she started singing. (By the way I don't own any of the lyrics.)

"With a terrified look in the eyes, spit those irritated feelings into the fickle wind  
The signal that melted into the cracked roadway is leaving only a scar behind."

"May I have this dance Harry?" Sirius asked, as he looked around the Hall, only to find Harry and Patrick already dancing.

"Before the drowsy noise blurs away tomorrow,  
Chase after those ambitiously resounding footsteps"

"I missed you Patrick!" Harry screamed over the volume.

"I missed you too!" Patrick screamed back.

"That unfulfillable emotion that never settles down somewhere--  
just decide to ignore it, then overtake it.  
Aim for the loophole in this shy, trembling society,  
for the place we keep struggling towards. I want new world."

"Stupid Patrick!" Sirius growled and stomped over to them, and yanked Harry away from the other boy, and started to dance with him.

"Grr" Patrick growled, and yanked Harry back.

"If you bare your claws at your swarming anxieties, you'll be snapped back by unfamiliar lies,  
And the unbearable times will adorn the rust-covered roads with agitation. Stuff your bag with nothing but velvet coins.  
We don't need a map of the maze-like dreams."

The two boys started to yank Harry back forth, each grinding on him, trying to get him to dance with them.

"From the tidal-wave's pounding rhythm  
to the glittering silver passion, it's all just temptation's strategic pull.  
Your fragile eyes beat on the door we can go through  
as we still keep on searching. You just a new world"

When all of a sudden Harry went spinning out of both their arms, and started to fall.

"I can still hear the accumulated tears carving their paths into Main Street,  
warping the sound of those footsteps."

Only to be caught in strong arms, Harry looked up to see who caught him, and looked into brilliant gray eyes.

"That unfulfillable emotion that never settles down somewhere--  
just decide to ignore it, then overtake it.  
Aim for the loophole in this shy, trembling society,  
for the place we keep struggling towards. I want new world."

Harry looked at Lucius and leaned up slowly, while Lucius was leaning down.

"NO KISSING DOWN THERE!" Joey yelled, successfully ruining the moment, which made Courtney (the drummer) and Kristin (the guitarist) extremely mad, and beat him over the head with their instruments, yelling "I want to see yaoi!"

Anyways the night basically continued on like that, boys trying to make moves on Harry, others trying to steal him away, and Joey being obnoxious.

Hey everyone reviews ok?

Oh I didn't get a chance to reply to everyones reviews from the last chappy, so I'll be getting to that so be patient! And I'll update again soon!


	30. Chappy 30

"Man I'm tired

"Man I'm tired!" Harry said as he stretched, out on the Slytherin common room's couch, giving Lucius a great view of his stomach.

"Same here, it's a shame that the break is almost over!" Lucius replied.

"Yeah…. Hey let's get Sirius and sneak into Hogsmeade!" Harry exclaimed, as he light up like a Christmas tree.

"We have to bring the Gryffindor?" Lucius sneered.

"That Gryffindor is my friend and my father and mother happen to be Gryffindor!" Harry stated in an aggravated tone, as he stormed off out of the common room, with his tight jeans showing his butt off, practically teasing Lucius.

'He does this on purpose!' Lucius thought as he went off to go find Harry.

After a couple of minutes of searching Lucius still couldn't find Harry.

'Crap, I can't let the mutt get the alone time with him! He'll molest my poor innocent little Harry!' Lucius thought through his panic.

Meanwhile  
Harry entered the Gryffindor common room and immediately went over the Maurders, and plopped down in a very small spot between Sirius and Remus.

"Hey guys!" Harry started, "what's up?"

"James and Lily are arguing again," Remus supplied.

"What ab-" Harry started before getting cut off.

"YOU'RE SO ARROGANT!" Lily screamed her red hair flying in her face.

"WELL YOU'RE A KNOW-IT-ALL!" James yelled back. The common room gaped, James had never yelled back at Lily. Even she was shocked at James' bold behavior, but she soon got over the shock and stormed off.

James collapsed on the coach with a sigh, before turning to Sirius and saying, "man she makes me want to turn gay," but then he smiled, "then I remember how hot her arse is!"

Sirius burst into laughter, exclaiming that that was why he loved James.

"Well now that that's out of the way, how about we go to Hogsmeade?" Harry asked.

"I can't I have too much homework to finish," Remus sighed, and picked up his books, to go work on his 'homework' in the dorm.

"I have to go talk Lily into going out with me; I think if I annoy her a bit more she'll go out with me, just to get me off her back." James said, as he ran in the direction Lily ran off in, but not before winking at Sirius.

'Those losers left me alone with Harry on purpose… to give me a chance! Man they are awesome!' Sirius thought.

"Well I guess it's just me and you," he said.

"Yep, I guess so!" Harry answered with a cute little smile, which made Sirius' heart melt.

Harry and Sirius made their way to the hump backed witch, and departed on their way to Hogsmeade, or more preciously Honeydukes.

'Gyah! Where are they!?' Lucius mentally ranted.

"I always love the smell of freedom and rule breaking!" Sirius said once they made their way out of Honeyduke's basement.

Harry found it funny that none of the workers had even cared about the two teens coming out of the basement, where only employees were allowed. Apparently Sirius and his father did it so often that they were never surprised to see a couple of kids wondering around down there. What made the icing on the cake though, was when Sirius entered Mrs. Honeyduke's office and gave the old women a great big hug. She not only welcomed Harry, but asked Sirius where he had found his strikingly beautiful boyfriend from. Sirius simply smiled, and took the candy that she had offered the teens before saying bye, and putting his arm around Harry's waist and walking off. Harry not questioning Sirius on why he didn't correct her, shrugged it off, just thinking it was a 'Sirius' thing.

"So where do you want to go first love?" Sirius asked, as they walked down the street.

"I don't know, how about the Three Broomsticks," Harry answered with a shrug.

"Sounds good to me," Sirius said before taking his arm off Harry's waist and taking hold of Harry's hand, and slowly walked to the Three Broomsticks.

'Wait why don't I just go and try to find them in Hogsmeade' Lucius asked himself, yes everyone, he had still been running around school, looking for his sexy arsed (A/N I know that's probably not a word, but bear with me) love interest. Slytherins don't give in easy you know.

"Two butterbeers please, and two broomstick burgers," Sirius said confidently, to the young waitress that was currently enjoying the view very much.

"Is there anything I can get you Hun?" she asked in a suggestive voice, bending over the table revealing her assets.

"No, but my boyfriend here," Sirius stated, emphasizing boyfriend, "would like a side fries."

"Ok," the waitress said brusquely, standing up immediately no longer seeming to be in a flirty mood.

Lunch passed without anything else exciting happen, except when a very cute busboy saw Harry.

"'Lo boys, are ye enjoying yer meals?" he asked as he eyed Harry up and down.

Harry in a very brief moment of non-obliviousness blushed deeply as the man winked at him.

"Yes, we-" Harry was cut off by Sirius.

"We are, but I would enjoy it more, if you would stop eye raping my boyfriend." Sirius interjected.

"Sirius!" Harry exclaimed.

"What he wants you!"

"So? That doesn't mean you can talk to him like that!" Harry argued, "now say you're sorry."

"No!"

"Say it!"

"Fine, I'm sorry for telling you off for visually molesting him!" Sirius supplied.

"Now say it like you mean it!" Harry said.

Sirius sighed before saying, "I'm sorry for telling you off, for simply looking at his sexiness. If I were you I would've done the same thing."

"No problem mate! He's a hottie, congrats on such a catch!" the busboy said, before he walked off.

After that the two boys walked outside, and looked at a couple of shops, before Harry voiced a question that had been plaguing him.

"Hey Siri?" Harry asked.

"Yes, love?" Siri responded.

"Why do you keep calling me your boyfriend?"

"Oh… um…" Sirius stuttered.

'Ok this is your moment Sirius' Sirius thought trying to give himself a pep talk, 'you can do this, you're the wet dreams of all Hogwarts students! Just tell him!'

"Um, well… I sorta have a really big crush on you… and I like when people think we're together…." Sirius answered timidly.

"Oh" was all Harry said, before opening his mouth again to tell Sirius his real feelings…

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YES A CLIFFHANGER! I'M EVIL THAT'S RIGHT! NOW WHO HAS THE POWER!!

I still gotta answer reviews from the last chappy, but still review! .


	31. Chappy 31

HEY I UPDATED! EVERYONE REVIEW!! PLEASE...

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"STOP IT RIGHT THERE BLACK!" Lucius yelled storming into the Three Broomsticks.

"Luci, what are you doing here?" Harry asked, completely forgetting he was mad at him.

"I'm here to stop you from going out with Black, because you're going to go out with me!" Lucius exclaimed loudly and proudly.

"I'M GOING TO WHAT!" Harry exclaimed.

"What are you guys talking about?" The bus boy interrupted, "he's going out with me!"

"SHUT UP!" both of the purebloods screamed at the boy, who looked disheartened and skulked away.

"Stupid little roach, I've been fighting over Harry since he got to Hogwarts, and some prissy little bus boy thinks he can steal him away! Not going to happen!" Lucius complained.

"I'll agree with you on that!" Sirius said.

Harry was still just sitting on his seat, just spacing out; not really comprehending what was going on in his little innocent mind. Poor baby.

Sirius, Lucius, and the bus boy (who snuck back) were all starring at Harry.

'Harry looks so hot when he's thinking' Sirius thought while drooling.

'I wanna sex you up!' Lucius thought while smirking, and trying to hide his hard on.

'Man he's sexy, maybe we can all have an orgy with Hagrid' the bus boy thought while blushing crayola crayon red.

The busboy looked up to see all three of the boys staring at him, "oh I said that out load, I mean out loud?"

The stares of the three boys reassured him that he had said that out loud, he then skulked off again in embarrassment.

"Okay that was kinda weird…." Harry said, breaking the awkward silence that had enveloped the boys.

"So how was potions class?" Harry asked, trying to get rid of the awkwardness.

"Um… okay…." Lucius answered, while being slightly confused.

"Harry, don't you have anything to say about what we said?" Sirius questioned, actually being Sirius (I spelt it like that on purpose!) for once.

"Um… what did you say before?" Harry replied looking all cute and innocent, his large green eyes sparkling behind his glasses.

"Lucius, just avada kedavra me now…. I'm going to die of a nosebleed!" Sirius cried, as his nose started to pour out blood.

"I will as soon as I'm done." Lucius answered, as his nose started to do the same.

After a few minutes both the boys' noses stopped pouring out blood, they looked at Harry with their stained robes, as he smiled cutely, and "scourgify" their robes.

"C'mon let's go check out some shops!" Harry exclaimed as he flounced off, leaving the two sexy beasts behind.

"He's avoiding answering," the two sexy beasts said together, before sighing and following Harry.

The three met up and started just wandering around Hogsmeade, when all of a sudden Harry spotted a shop that he had never seen before. Harry being the oblivious little Gryffindor he was decided to enter the shady looking establishment called, 'Tantalizing Toys'. (Btw, this idea was given to me by lazycrazykitten)

"Yay! Let's go into the toy store!" Harry celebrated, as he pulled the two sexy beasts into the 'toy store'.

The two boys looked at each other before breaking out into very devious smiles. 'This is going to be fun they thought,' as they entered the shop.

As Harry entered the shop, the first thing he saw was something that looked sort of like his private parts, but it purple. He wasn't sure what it was so he asked the young teen girl at the desk.

"What's this?" Harry asked, as he held the purple plastic up to the girl.

The girl looked up from her magazine, and looked at Harry shocked before saying, "you don't know what that is?"

"Um… no… should I?"

"DUH!"

"Then what is it?"

"It's a dildo…."

"Oh…."

"Yeah…."

"What's a dildo?"

"If you're a girl you put it up your va-jay-jay, and if you're a boy, you put it up your butt!"

"Oh, then what happens?"

"….Wow you're an idiot."

"There you are!" Lucius' voice rang as he finally spotted Harry. Lucius immediately rushed over to Harry, with Sirius following closely behind.

"I'm in heaven!" Sirius gasped, as he looked at everything the store had to offer, and they had just about everything! They even had the perfect uke package! Sirius couldn't find that anywhere! And with that Sirius kneeled down on the ground gasping "thank you, Merlin, thank you!"

Sirius then stood back up, and dusted off his robes, only to find the other three people staring at him.

"Um… I'll take six of the perfect uke packages!" Sirius said.

"Very nice!" the girl at the counter exclaimed, "is there anything else you need?"

"Actually yes, I would like some chocolate flavor lube, and some oh- my- right- there cream."

"Yes sir!" The girl said smiling that she didn't have to deal with Harry right now.

Lucius then cleared his throat and said, "Also I'll pay you twenty galleons if you tell Harry about the wands and the holsters, or in this case, the wands and the wands."

The girl smiled evilly before saying, "it'll be my pleasure."

"Wait what's going on?" Harry asked, still completely confused and oblivious.

"Oh nothing Harry," Sirius said sweetly, "we're just going to look around the shop, while this nice lady is going to give you a nice story!"

"Oh… okay!"

With that the two boys started looking through the store, while the girl started teaching Harry, about wands and more wands.

"Then it goes in…"

"Also if you play with…."

"You get more please if you stroke the…"

"Remember to always use…"

"If you have more than two people you can…"

Lucius and Sirius both smiled at each other, happy they didn't have to give Harry 'the talk', and besides even if they were enemies, that didn't mean they couldn't have fantasies….

"Okay guys we're all set!"

The boys rushed over to the girl and Harry. The girl was smiling broadly, obviously please with destroying someone's innocent mind. While Harry was in a state of shock, his eyes wide, and he was gripping the arms of the chair so hard that his knuckles were white.

"Thanks!" Sirius exclaimed, as he bounced over to the girl.

"That'll be thirty six galleons and twelve sickles," the girl said smiling, her smile getting even broader as Sirius forked over the money, and grabbed his packages.

"Malfoy, don't forget to pay her the twenty galleons," Sirius yelled as he walked over to Harry.

Lucius grumbled but walked over to the girl anyway, and gave her the money.

"Thanks, have a wonderful day, I know I have!" the girl giggled.

Sirius and Lucius grabbed Harry, who was still in his state of shock, and then walked out the door.

"Man, I love my job," the counter girl sighed, as she had many thoughts about the three young men that were just in the shop, going at it.

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Hehe sry for the wait! But chappy 31 is up! I hope everyone enjoys it!! I know i liked writing it! anyways make sure to reveiw!!


	32. Chapter 32

Hey everyone sorry for the tremendously long wait… I know it's really pathetic how long it took me and there is no excuse for that. Anyways this is my third time writing this chapter the first two times it was deleted by my hard drive crashing (you think I would be smart enough to save it on a flash drive… I guess not) and right now I'm a full time college student and I have three part time jobs… let's just say writing is not my number one thought right now. Anyways here's the long awaited final chapter of Unexpected Results of Time Travel! Yay!

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Sirius and Lucius both kept a tight hold on the object of their affection as they dragged him towards the carriages that would take them back to the castle. The boys wondered if pushing themselves on Harry had been a very good idea to begin with… after all the boy was completely oblivious and innocent.

The larger boys both exchanged looks over Harry's head as they arrived at the carriage, the look spoke of the crazy idea of both of them confessing and letting Harry decide and the other backs away gracefully. Both of them hoped Harry would choose them but if he was going to be happier with the other… they weren't going to break up that happiness.

Sirius then went and took the seat to the left of Harry as Lucius took the seat on the right, both of them were nervous… hell they were down right scared both of them has been competing for Harry's love since he had arrived and now they were finally going to see where the fruits of their labor got them.

"Harry, look at us…" Sirius called gently. Harry looked at him for the first time since being taught about the wands and the holsters (or the wands and the wands in their case). 'He really does have beautiful eyes…' he thought before continuing with his speech, "We need to discuss something very important that has been on Lucius' and my mind a lot lately." The carriage jerked forward as they started their ride back to the castle where they first met each other.

Lucius then started to speak, "Harry, we are both in love with you, I can't speak much for Black, but I really mean that when I say that. You've consumed my thoughts in these last months… all I can think about is how wonderful you are and how you bring so much light, humor, and fun in my life and I want you to be my boyfriend and my lover."

Before Harry could say anything a hand gently pulled his face to gaze in the direction of Sirius. "Harry I'm not as eloquent as Malfoy over there, but I feel much the same way, at first it was about lust; I mean you're absolutely gorgeous! Anyways after I've gotten to know you more I realize that you're exactly what I've always wanted in a partner someone who can joke and laugh but be strong when need be… Harry please be my boyfriend and lover…" Sirius pleaded.

Harry was stunned; these two beautiful men wanted him. Not just wanted him, but they loved him. In his wildest dreams he couldn't imagine this happening… he had noticed they cared about him but he didn't dare imagine they would love him, but now they wanted him to choose between them… something he wasn't sure he could do. His face turned to look at Lucius who was looking like the aristocrat he was, his face was impassive but to Harry he could see the hope and worry that was brewing in his jeweled blue eyes. Harry then gazed towards Sirius he was openly nervous, biting his lip and the worry and hope were clear in his molten gray eyes as well. Harry didn't know what to do… he knew what his feelings were, but he didn't know what to say.

Harry opened his mouth to speak before closing it again.

"Harry, whomever you choose we won't be angry… we'll do our best to try and make sure the relationship doesn't change," Lucius pointed out.

"We just want you to be happy… hopefully with one of us and by us I mean me," Sirius joked trying to lighten the mood.

"I… I've actually thought about this a lot you guys," Harry started and then began giggling from the expressions of shock written on Sirius' and Lucius' faces. He swayed a little bit as the Threstrals reached a bumpy part on the way to Hogwarts. "What did you guys actually believe I'm as innocent as I acted?" Again the looks on their faces told him they did. "Don't get me wrong I've never had sex before and I don't know a lot about it, but even I notice when they're two beautifully handsome boys you are friends with…"

"I'm so confused," Sirius bemoaned… Lucius nodded in agreement.

"Well I didn't think either of you would particularly care about me that much… you both are known to be pretty flirty…. Anyways I don't think I can choose. As selfish as this sounds, I love you both. I can't choose because it would be like choosing between having no air and going to mars, either way I'll die with no oxygen."

Sirius was shocked how could someone love him and Malfoy at the same time, lusting after both of them he could understand but loving? They were so different. Sirius did have to admit… Lucius was pretty good looking.

Lucius was stunned as well, a Black, a Potter, and a Malfoy love triangle, what was the world coming too? Lucius did have to agree that Sirius was handsome.

Harry looked down; he couldn't believe he had finally told them… They probably didn't really mean what they said; he concluded 'neither of them had said anything'.

"Well Lucius, it looks like we have a little problem here… our little minx has fallen for both of us…" Sirius started, causing Lucius and Harry look at him in surprise. "We said we just wanted him to be happy and if he wants both of us and that'll make him happy… well I can definitely deal with having two very attractive lovers." He ended with a suggestive leer to both of them causing Harry to blush scarlet.

"You know Black, I mean Sirius. I think you might actually have a point there." Lucius said in a deep voice. "You two do look extremely sexy together… I can't say that I care that much for you Sirius, but if it will make Harry happy, then I'm up for it."

Harry beamed beautifully at both of them, their breathe hitching at the sight before them. "Wow, I can't believe this is actually happening…" he breathed. "I can't believe it."

"Oh you better believe it, Harry and since you don't Lucius and I will just have to prove it." Sirius whispered sexily as he leaned closer to Harry on the cushioned bench and nibbled on his earlobe as he finished his sentence.

Lucius, catching on started to suck and kiss Harry's neck, making Harry moan.

Harry couldn't believe this was actually going to happen, he had the two men he lusted after and eventually come to love each doing something naughty to him, just then Sirius started undoing Harry's shirt and he figured he could leave the reminiscing until later… much later… like when his boys weren't doing such tempting things to him.

While Sirius was undoing Harry's shirt, Lucius started to leave love bites all the way down Harry's chest, until he reached his nipple which Lucius gently nibbled on. As soon as Sirius was done with the buttons of the shirt he pushed it off of Harry's small frame hurriedly and covered Harry's other nipple with his mouth sucking and softly biting. Harry moaned as both of his lightly dusted colored buds were occupied, he moans got even louder as Lucius started to massage him through his school pants.

WARNING LEMON TIME

Sirius then pulled himself away from Harry and declared, "Harry get naked now,". Lucius dragged himself away from the boy that was a regular star in his X-rated fantasies to look at the boy undress. Harry blushingly stood up, hyper aware of the two burning gazes on his person and slowly started to unbutton his pants and slide them off of his petite hips. He heard twin gasps of excitement and he knew they noticed his choice of undies. He was wearing girl underwear, the underwear was pink and it had writing on it, which upon closer inspection read "cherry anyone?" with a picture of a cherry that was placed on the right hip.

"Harry, love, do a spin for us…" Lucius instructed. Harry did what was asked and did a slow turn showing that the undies themselves only covered half of Harry's round bubble butt. Not being able to take it Lucius moved forward and started to slide his hands up and down Harry's butt and legs, while Sirius moved in front of the feminine boy and claimed his mouth in a passionate kiss. While Harry was distracted with Sirius, Lucius being the sneaky Slytherin he is snuck over and opened a "Perfect Uke Package", grinning as he looked inside and pulled out the lube he moved back over to the uke that this was going to be used on and sighed as he looked at the amazing ass that was placed in front of him. Lucius then started to strip and as Harry turned around he was greeted with the sight of a completely naked Lucius standing ready (in more ways than one) for Harry's attention. Harry gaped, drinking in the sight before him. Lucius was gorgeous; there was no other way to put it. The man was lithe and he was covered in light muscle, but what Harry was most interested in was nestled between the man's legs… an eight inch cock stood proudly waiting for attention much like Lucius himself.

Harry dropped to his knees on the carpeted floor almost as if he was in a trance and started to pleasure Lucius. He started with small licks to the strong shaft before gradually making the licks longer and circling the head. Harry then took the head in his mouth and started moving his tongue around it; he then slowly started to take more into his mouth until his nose was almost nestled in curls.

Sirius looked at the scene before him with complete lust, the two men in front of him were some of the best looking men that he has ever seen and he couldn't wait to join in the fun. Sirius stripped quickly and picked up the discarded bottle of lube and moved to where Harry was kneeling and was still moving his head on Lucius' cock with smoldering eyes. He had kneeled down behind Harry and gently removed the girly undies Harry donned; he left them down by Harry's knees and started to kiss Harry's back gently and rubbed his smooth hips making the said boy moan lightly. Sirius coated his fingers in the lube and gently probed Harry's entrance with one finger making the moans a little louder, encouraged Sirius pushed the finger fully in with little difficulty.

Lucius' head lolled back as Harry bobbed his head faster on his shaft, and seeing as Sirius had the boy moaning as he fingered him he figured that he would have a go at the second round. As the carriage hit a bump and pushed Harry even further down on his cock, Lucius let out a low moan that was filled with pure pleasure. Harry hearing Lucius reaction tried again after recovering from the surprise intake of more than he thought he could handle, Harry pushed himself further down; deep throating Lucius. Harry moaned loudly as Sirius pushed a third finger in and Lucius felt that moan vibrating through his entire being.

"Okay get up," Sirius growled lustfully, while removing his fingers. Harry did as he was told and gulped as he got his first look at a nude Sirius, the man was all muscle more built than Lucius but both were equally as beautiful.

"This is how we're going to do this, Lucius your back up against the wall of the carriage, Harry you're going to suck and I'm going to ride you raw. Everyone okay with that? Good."

Surprisingly Lucius followed orders without complaint. The boys were in the positions that Sirius directed them to before beginning once more. Sirius lubed his shaft and gently pushed it in Harry who seemed to be taking it rather well, after a little adjustment Harry once more took Lucius cock in his mouth as Sirius began to move in and out of him. As Sirius was pounding Harry, his mouth was taking Lucius in deeper and deeper every time. The bumps and thumps of the carriage were making the "ride" even more unexpected, surprising, and fun for the boys.

Sirius was soon pounding Harry with all his might and Lucius' hips were thrusting to meet Harry's mouth, both of them making the other go deeper inside their love. Lucius came first spilling his seed inside Harry mouth, Harry swallowed in greedly and as Lucius slumped against the cushioned seat, Sirius reached around and gave Harry's shaft a few quick strokes before he came against the door of the carriage with a loud cry. Sirius came last leaving his load in Harry, before pulling out slowly.

The boys all slumped together on the seat of the carriage for a few minutes, none of them speaking, but Harry broke the silence first…

"Well who's ready for round two?" he asked in a sensual voice. Lucius and Sirius looked at each other and smirked, they really did know how to pick the best.

* * *

That is the end of my story. It took like four years to finish but it is done! I am so happy! This was my first lemon and it was so hard to write (Hooray for carriage smut)! I hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! I love you all!


End file.
